I moved the other essay to its own thread. Start a new thread for each essay.
Thanks for joining EF! I'm glad you are participating here.
e first time I started learning the subject "science", I have been fascinated by it and throughout the years my curiosity in that regard has only deepe ned.
No good! Boring and not very meaningful. You need to punch the reader in the stomach with your interestingness. :-)
What is life? How does it work? The answers to these questions lay within biology.---Again, too obvious. You should explain several goals you have set for yourself as you enter into your area of specialization. Whose work do you admire most? Which professors at this school to which you are applying have written some great books? Research the school, and show the details of your plan.
I harbor a passion for the workings of life and my curiosity about it is undying. ---See, you write very well, but it does not have meaning. There's the rub. I know you are using your talent to express something meaningful about bio, but i suggest focusing on sharing your short term goals and recent, proactive research. :-)