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AP Biology book. I am caught in life, utterly inescapable life - "How did you get Caught"

effovex 1 / 1  
Dec 22, 2009   #1
How did I get caught? I am already caught. The person living down the street from me is caught and so are you, the person reading this right now. I am caught in life, utterly inescapable life. On an early Saturday morning, as I am getting ready to pump some iron, my gaze falls upon my AP Biology book. I nonchalantly fan through all glossy white pages; 1267 pages to be exact. In sheer amazement, I think to myself, "Is this it?" How can life as we know it possibly be defined in only 1267 pages?

Everywhere I go, I am beginning to see that there is an invisible "bar." Not just any old bar, but the type of bar that sets the standards for everyone, and it seems like these days, people are more concerned with barely reaching the bar rather than pushing it up higher. Asking my friends what is their drive of pursuing future studies, they all sadly had the same answer; they wanted to learn everything there was about their field of interest. I cannot help but feel disappointed because I ask myself, "What direction is our motivation taking us?"

Too many people are concerned with wanting to learn everything we have already established. It seems that the luminosity for discovery and excellence is dwindling where as the contentment with mediocrity is on the rise. I feel that we should not settle for what is already there; instead, we should try to find out more. After all, if it wasn't for Stanley Miller's inquisitive testing, the emergence of flies near spoiled food would still be contributed to the "vital force." It is our society today that stresses utter knowledge rather than the spirit to go above and beyond and push our understanding of things to the very limit. We are all caught by this mentality of life and it takes a huge toll by hindering our potential for greatness. Even though I am caught, I see that there is only one way to break the shackles; questions.

People raise their eyebrows and tell me that knowledge is the only way to cut the chain of ignorance. However, I fire back by saying knowledge is too finite, too limiting. Questions on the other hand, can lead to a myriad of possibilities. Knowledge is too black and white. Questions are the root of our desire to learn and comprehend, and it is only through questions that we can improve and advance. What is our life? Just about a mere 90 years give or take? It is really quite sad that many people center their whole lives around making it to the "bar." In other words, people are content with what is there to learn. It is imperative that we do not solely reach for the knowledge aspect of studies, rather we should strive for new discovery. Even though over the past decades our areas of understanding have exponentially increased, there is still so much to be learned. In fact, it is my hope that with many motivational attitudes there will be absolutely incredible advances in medicine and science that would even make the Big Man Upstairs spit out his mocha frappachino coffee in shock.

I used to find myself caught in the same trap; constantly striving for knowledge and nothing else. However, what really appeals to me is the notion of doing something better, finding something new, and taking things to the next level. Knowledge is indeed very important, however, the spark of curiosity and questioning is very much vital.

As more light is starting to come through my window, I am bench pressing with determination. My eyes stare directly at the bar in my hands. With every motion, I extend the bar with all my effort, going a little higher each time. While I am catching a breath, I glance back over to my Biology book. Who knows, there might be 1268 pages in the next edition.
sportybluei 7 / 40  
Dec 22, 2009   #2
I think your essay is really interesting! But when you say "how can life as we know" doesn't really make sense to me. Biology = life as we know? If you make the analogy clearer, that would be nice, becuase your introduction is a nice hook to the essay! =]

In the second paragraph, I think you should change your tone when you are discussing your friends' goals. You sould as if you are "better," which I know you didn't really mean.

The third paragraph, really, only repeats the ideas of the first and second paragraph (except the very last sentence). The paragraph seems too wordy, too.

Overall, I get your idea, but I think you could definitely shorten the essay and still have the same main idea.

Your approach is really interesting, so keep it up! =]
OP effovex 1 / 1  
Dec 22, 2009   #3
Thank you for your tips! It helps a lot. I was wondering, is there a way to delete my thread? I don't really want my essay to be on the internet thanks
sportybluei 7 / 40  
Dec 22, 2009   #4
If you look down at the very bottom, there is a link called "close thread." :)
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 26, 2009   #5
Closing the thread does not remove it from the forum. If you want to find out about your options, see the TOS. This website is based on helping people to write better by sharing our writing, so we like to keep all the collaboration available for others to see. You do have options for removing it, though.

keshwa01 - / 8  
Dec 30, 2009   #6
how do you go from getting ready to lift to reading a bio book? i had to suspend my disbelief there.
Paulina213 2 / 23  
Dec 30, 2009   #7
Great point, about asking questions. Knowledge is useless unless you know what to do with it and expand it. University of Chicago would definitely love this, seeing as they emphasize innovation and questioning guarded beliefs and assumptions,

Grammar fix:

shackles; questions.

shackles: questions.

I would change this verb:

I fire back

it sort of makes you sound belligerent and not ready to listen to other people's points of view. Just my two cents.

What is life? Perhaps make this strong question a little clearer.

Also, props on the last couple lines. Strong comparison to the metaphorical bar and the bar you are lifting.
cmg12 3 / 3  
Dec 30, 2009   #8
I think it is very good, but in the beginning, I would eliminate the "pumping iron" reference and change it to something more formal.
keshwa01 - / 8  
Dec 30, 2009   #9
btw I just found your fatal flaw, so to speak.
you say you are caught, but then you talk about how you feel everyone else thinks knowledge is too finite. If you don't think so, aren't you the exception. so are you caught or not?

basically you are contradicting yourself.

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