Prompt: "Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm." - Winston Churchill. Tell us about a time you took a risk, failed, and were able to pick up the pieces and learn from the experience.
Slam! The paper was thrown on my desk. I took a good five minutes to turn the paper over and take a look at what dreadful grade was circled in red ink on that paper. To my shock, it was a big, fat "C" circled on the test. Just then, the bell rang and as I gathered my books to head out to my next class, I promised myself that this grade was going to change. I would do whatever it took to maintain myself.
I had happily went into the Guidance Counselor's office earlier this year and signed up to take AP Biology. Biology was my favorite subject in the ninth grade and I knew that I would excel in it. I had also attended the informational meeting held by the AP Biology teacher and was psyched for the upcoming year. "Next year will be great!" I thought to myself. During the summer, I checked out a couple of biology books from my local library and read additional pamphlets to prepare myself for the class. The summer had quickly come to an end and I was ready to get back into action for my last year at Western School of Technology and Environmental Science.
The first day of school was off to a great start and I was determined to do my best in each of my classes. Later that same day, I went into AP Biology thinking that I could do anything I wanted just because I felt that I had pretty good background knowledge of biology. My attitude was positive and I was ready to conquer anything that I wanted to. Little did I know that this situation would put me in a lot of hardship.
The class had initially started out very well and I understood everything that my teacher was teaching us. The labs and other supplemental work actually gave me the more kinesthetic approach to biology. Thus, one month of school passed by and out first AP Biology test was announced. Throughout the first month, I had studied occasionally and tried to understand everything on my own from my AP Biology book. So far, the class seemed relatively easy and it was one of my favorites. This class was a self-paced class and it was the first time that I had taken anything like that.
It was time for the first test of the year and I thought I had studied enough and was prepared for it. However, when the test came back, I learned that I had not been fully prepared for it and there was a lot more that I could do to better prepare myself. When the test came back the next week, my heart sank. Every answer that I thought was the correct one turned out to be the wrong one. I knew that I had wanted to challenge myself, so I silently walked out of the room and I went to my fourth period class trying to make sense of what I had done wrong. That night, I went home and studied all of the material over again. While I did that, I also made a schedule for my study time for AP Biology separate from all my other classes. As I reread the material, I realized that this material had to be continuously read in order for it be comprehended thoroughly.
My second test for was two weeks away and I started to review right away. I also learned to use the class labs and other aids to help me envision the intricate workings of biology. In addition to that, I had started to see myself beginning to create my own explanations for the material. By staying on task and keeping up with a steady schedule, I was able to make it the second time around. I had done better the second time around, but I knew that there was still much more to be conquered.
From then on, I kept up the same studying schedule and work ethic in class. On the third test, I felt prepared and I knew that I had done a good job. When the scores came back, my teacher ecstatically came up to me and told me, "You got the highest grade on the test!" Right then, I knew that I could achieve anything that I wished to do as long as I whole-heartedly put the effort into it.
There is enormous power in failure, especially when one learns from it. Many young adults are afraid of failure and its effects on their lives. However, failure and success go hand-in-hand because both are the greatest lessons of life. At times, I did feel very hopeless but that did not stop me from figuring out what I wanted to learn from this failure. In fact, it made me more determined to change the way I approached this class. In the future, there will be many instances where I will fail and in order for me to succeed, I will have to learn from those experiences and be able to apply it to my future. Thus, failure's lesson is: remain humble, and when you think you've worked hard enough, keep working.
I really do enjoy what you have written here, especially your intro. It really is an attention grabber. However, I feel like your paper is a little cliche in some aspects. If I were you, I would try to do some more perspective into your thoughts and try to do just a little bit more showing than telling. Still a good paper :-)
Thus, one month of school passed by and out first AP Biology test was announced. I think it should be passed by and OUR first AP Biology...; not out first.
Overall, the essay is good but lenghty. Try to be brief and avoid unnecessary information.
Please help me with my essay
Overall this is a good essay, but I agree with Range Rover that it is a bit cliche. You are writing about a topic that probably many kids will write about it; therefore, you need to write it in a fresh, unique manner in order to stand out and be original.
Biggest tip would be show not tell! Also pick up your narrative, make it more concise and snappy.
Example: Earlier this year, I bounced into the Guidance Counselor's office, confidently grabbed the pen and signed up to take AP Biology.
Biology was my favorite subject in the ninth grade and I knew that I would excel in it. I had also attended the informational meeting held by the AP Biology teacher and was psyched for the upcoming year.A bit clumsy, try to make this more concise. "Next year will be great!" I thought to myself.
During the summer, I checked out a couple of biology books from my local library and read additional pamphlets to prepare myself for the class. Also can be more exciting and snappy.
Example: During the summer, I prepared for battle. By the end of summer I was armed with biology books, additional information from pamphlets and was ready for action.
The summer had quickly come to an end and I was ready to get back into action for my last year at Western School of Technology and Environmental Science.
Obviously this is how I would write this essay, but not necessarily how you want to write it. But by comparing AP biology or senior year to a "battle" is more engaging and interesting then just saying I got prepared for senior year. So find your own creative voice and go with it! Remember its okay to be light and humorous, if that's who you are. These essays are not suppose to be super serious and formal.
