Biology Project : Stanford Intellectual Vitality

Can someone edit my essay? This is what I have so far.
Thanks!

Stanford students possess an intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual development.

In my junior year, I took Biology AP to expand my knowledge regarding biology. At the end of the year as part of our final grade, my classmates and I had to go through the Product Development Project. Everyone in my class was put into groups of nine where we had to research and make some sort of biological product. My group decided to create a garlic odor eliminating compound.

We spent much research on our topic. In the end, we found out that allicin, one of the compounds in garlic was the main cause of the bad smell. If the effects of allicin were somehow nullified, we would be able to successfully eliminate the garlic smell. Now all we had to do was find the compound that could eliminate allicin which was a protein known as a polyphenol.

Our first step was finished, but the next posed a greater challenge. Polyphenols did not come naturally. They were found in certain organic substances such. Now the main dilemma we faced was on how to extract polyphenols. After more researching, we found out casein, a compound in celery contained polyphenols. By boiling the celery, we were able to find our compound and we were successful in our goal.

Working in the Product Development Project was more enlightening than taking the class itself. It was one of the first times where my group and I were able to take part in a real-life scenario where we had to go through various steps to find the solution. Throughout the project, we also made many mistakes, These mistakes developed me intellectually as I learned from them. Through research I was able to expand my knowledge of modern biology.

At the end of the year , as part of our final grade

one of the compounds in garlic , was the main cause (comma)


Now all we had to do was find the compound that could eliminate allicin - a protein known as a polyphenol.


rephrase? it doesnt sound right, the first phrase.


use a better word instead of come? it doesnt expresses your thought well.

After some more researching, we found out casein...

we found out casein, a compound in celery, contained polyphenols (comma)


solution of what?

Throughout the project, we also made many mistakes, These mistakes developed me intellectually as I learned from them
Although we made many mistakes throughout the project, these mistakes developed me...

i think you need a stronger concluding line. like, stroooong one.

please help me with mine? :

Stanford students possess an intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual development.

First I want to say that you didn't have many grammar mistakes, so congrats!
The advice I would give to you would be to talk more about the project's impact on you. Admissions counselors do not want to hear about the project as much as they want to get to know you and what you bring to the table..

The conclusion wasn't the strongest, but it is how you should be writing the majority of the essay.

Please leave a like? I need them to delete my posts (: