Hey all, I just wanted to share my Johns Hopkins essay with you. If you have any critique or such I am open to it.
1. Johns Hopkins offers 50 majors across the schools of Arts and Sciences and Engineering. On this application, we ask you to identify one or two that you might like to pursue here. Why did you choose the way you did? If you are undecided, why didn't you choose? (If any past courses or academic experience influenced your decision, you may include them in your essay.)
Innovation, discovery, and technological revolution are all words that create a future image for my life's ambition. My ambition is to major in Biomedical Engineering and become a General Surgeon. Why Biomedical? Biomedical Engineering is applying engineering principles to a medical field, allowing for the development of technology that improves healthcare and allows for doctors to be more precise and accurate in their work.
Although initially I was undecided as to whether I should pursue Engineering or Medicine as a career, it finally dawned upon me that it was possible for me to do both. I feel that majoring in Biomedical Engineering will enable me to learn more about the ever-changing machines that are used in medicine today. What makes those machines function? Why do they work the way they do? How exactly are they built?
These are all questions that peak my interest and are questions that I want to know the answers to. I want to be able to fully appreciate the machinery being used; I want to grasp the concept of it and apply that concept when I am one day using those machines. For me, majoring in Biomedical Engineering will allow me to appreciate the machinery that I am using.
I find it amazing as well as intriguing how machines play such a big part when it comes to somebody's health. A person that has diabetes simply has to wear a pump that continuously infuses insulin into his body. This is just one example of the many types of technological wonders that have been created through Biomedical Engineering. A person can now have a prosthetic eye or an artificial hip joint.
I feel as if without Biomedical Engineering, Medicine wouldn't be where it is today. More than half of the successes in medicine are due to technological wonders like MRI's and CT scans. Biomedical Engineering is the type of engineering that will allow me to work with and create devices that will be used in medicine to heal another human being.
You gave a lot of examples of how Biomedical engineering has helped and will help others, but is there any personal reason why you want to major in it? There's got to be something deeper. Right now, I feel like you're more trying to convince me to be a biomed major than showing why you love it so much.
Your essay is well written but you need to be more personal. I like how you included examples, but would like to see how these will affect you as a student at Johns Hopkins. I think you answered the prompt well, but you need to incorporate more personal thoughts. I did not notice any spelling errors as I read your essay.
Can someone please look at my revised Georgetown essay in regards to describing myself? Thanks!