Answer the question, why do you want to be a nurse? Include your academic, professional and life experiences and how they are relevant to the nursing profession. Include your professional goals in nursing?
My interest in nursing arose after the birth of my son. The birth of my son was a rather tedious and difficult one. The healthcare professional team that took care of me was very diligent in making sure the delivery process went smoothly as planned and at the end of the ordeal, I was blessed with a beautiful baby boy. This experience caused me to have a new level of respect for healthcare professionals and has motivated me to pursue nursing as a career.
As mother of four children, I obtained my undergraduate degree in my adulthood with outstanding GPA while also being a business owner. My business involves arranging candies into beautiful bouquets which allows me to serve many customers with varying degrees of background and expectations.
My life experiences which include my background in hospitality and as a business owner are all relevant to the nursing profession because they are all involved in taking care of people, anticipating their needs and exceeding their expectations. As a mother, wife, and daughter, I have the traditional and most essential role of being a nurturer, comforter, advocate, and provider which are important in the nursing profession as these are all attributes that nurses must possess in order to care for their patients.
My professional goals in nursing include graduating at the top of my class and passing the national board exam. I hope to work on a maternity floor and improve my skills as a nurse. I eventually want to be a delivery and labor nurse by completing my Master's degree in this field. I have chosen delivery and labor nurse because I enjoy working with women and babies. My long term goals include staying as an active member in the profession of nursing, joining the American Nurses Association, and attending seminars and lobbying for the advancement of nurses.
I think your essay does answer the question. You began with a very interesting statement. I would suggest elaborating a bit more on your experience during the birthing process. Instead of saying it was a difficult process, maybe you could provide more details to draw the reader into your experience - how long were you in labor? What problems did you encounter? From there, you could go into how the health care professionals helped you during the trying ordeal. These descriptions would personalize the essay a lot more and provide a face to your application.
Thanks for the feedback. i will consider your suggestion. The problem though is that the essay cannot be more than 300 words.
My life experiences which includeI personally don't think this is necessary, if anything you're just filling up your word count. When you begin to elaborate/use anecdotes about your bg in hospitality, I think it's obvious you're talking about your life experiences. my background in hospitality and as a business owner are all relevant to the nursing profession becauseWhat if you just said, being a buisness owner and having a background in hospitality involves taking care of people, etc? they are all involved in taking care of people, anticipating their needs and exceeding their expectations. As a mother, wife, and daughter, I have the traditional and most essential role of being a nurturer, comforter, advocate, and provider which are important in the nursing profession as these are all attributes that nurses must possess in order to care for their patients. That's great, I think that just brought it home & made the essay.
My professional goals in nursing include graduating at the top of my classThis sounds sort of cliche, try elaborating or using a different detail. Why do you want to graduate at the top of your class? Is it to fulfill some type of personal goal to exceed expectations or reap the resources which are given to you? and passing the national board exam. I hope to work on a maternity floor and improve my skills as a nurse.
It's great, I really like it. Concise & straight to the point. :)
