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Black History - the most important Activity essay for UBC PERSONAL PROFILE!

seun1234 1 / 1  
Nov 24, 2020   #1


Please explain the role you played and what you learned in the process.(maximum 350 words)

please let me know how i can improve this essay as well as reduce the word count because i am over the limit. Also is my voice heard in the essay

I took the initiative to hold the first Black History month event at my school in order to create an environment that encourages diversity and appreciates the differences of students. The Black History Month event was a cultural event that would minimize stereotypes and provide students with more knowledge about the contributions of Black people. It is vital for students to know and appreciate Black history, as Canadians strive to build a better society that is inclusive and knowledgeable of various cultures.

To hold the event, I went to the student council to pitch my idea of the event and asked for funding to buy necessary items. Afterwards, I went to the principal to receive permission to hold the event in the streets of the school and collaborated with COLORS (a multicultural club) after the event was approved. I led a team of eight students from different grades to assist me in the planning of the event and provide me with their suggestions. I contacted various cultural organizations in my community such as the Multicultural Association for collaboration and provisions of some items. Furthermore, I planned with my team that it would be a three-day event where we educated students about Black history through presentations and included different types of Black dishes each day as souvenirs for students. After deciding the dates of the event, I then reached out to several people who were going to prepare the meals for the events and negotiated the price of the dishes. I chose the vendor with the most affordable price to have enough money to purchase the remaining items with a limited budget. My team and I advertised the event by announcing it on the school daily announcements, putting up posters, utilizing social media and word of mouth. I delegated different roles to each member of the team including myself. The event took place in February and was a great success because both teachers and students came to the booth eager to learn and had positive reviews afterwards. The organization of the event granted me leadership, public speaking, multitasking, creativity, problem-solving, negotiating and budgeting skills. I demonstrated my responsibility by not going over the budget given and planning a successful event. My efforts motivated other students and serves as a good example for my team members who will take over after I leave for university.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,332 3360  
Nov 24, 2020   #2
Try to revise the content of this essay. For the first paragraph, discuss why you were compelled to establish Black History Month at your school. What were the factors that led to its establishment? What was the main objective of the activity? Would you consider it successful? Why?

The role you played should go beyond the establishment activities. You need to show how the activity changed you as a person. If this awakened a sense of activism on your part, then explain what role that activism played in pushing you to make the activity a success. That would make for a very clear and interesting learning process for you. The learning process should integrate the role you played in the activity. By limiting the presentation aspects to 3 paragraphs, focusing only on my suggested discussion points, you should be able to create a less wordy and more focused response essay. Don't forget to divide your responses into paragraphs. That way the presentation is easier to read and will be easier to scan for relevant information on the part of the reviewer.
OP seun1234 1 / 1  
Nov 25, 2020   #3
Thank you for your tips and guidance @Holt

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