Describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your family, your school or community activities or your involvement in areas outside of school.
Should I leave it like this? or turn it into more of a story? Criticism Please!
Two summers ago, I packed my bags and headed to Ocklawaha, Florida, giving a month of my life to serve hundreds of middle schoolers at Young Life's Southwind summer camp. Knowing only three other people, I was both nervous and excited to meet and live with almost 50 new people from all over the United States. Together with 20 other high schoolers, we formed the work crew. I was assigned the job of server and laundry girl helping to maintain the dining hall, serve campers and fold laundry.
Throughout the course of the month I learned a great deal about working with others to achieve a common goal, giving campers the best week of their lives. One of the biggest trials we faced was a breakout of the H1N1 virus, which affected not only numerous campers, but also many of the work crew. Little by little, our work force began to dwindle and soon we had gone from 20 workers to only 12. The stress levels were overwhelming as we struggled to pick up the slack, and it appeared that we had lost the true spirit of excellence we had strived so hard to master.
I distinctly remember this one night, not long after we had been hit by the virus. Our work crew bosses gathered the remaining healthy workers in the dining hall for a meeting. Although we were small in number, the love in the room was quite evident as we took time to really enjoy one another's company amiss our hectic situation.
I awoke early the next morning exhausted, none the less ready to get the day going. The energy in the dining hall was like none before as we set up for breakfast. We were singing and laughing as we worked; it was as if we'd undergone a full attitude transformation.
The H1N1 breakout ended up being a blessing in disguise. We learned so much about ourselves and were able to grow closer to one another. We put aside any differences we may have had before and worked with each other to get our jobs done. I learned what it was like to work, and I mean really work. I found strength inside of myself that I never knew I possessed.
I believe the month I spent at Southwind will help me to succeed at the University of Florida as both a student, and a member of the Gainesville community. I have experienced what it's like to live in a close knit community of people with varying personalities and opinions. I've realized that being vulnerable and real with new people, although terrifying at times, is incredibly rewarding.
Upon acceptance into UF, I plan to become a Young Life leader in Gainesville where I will be able to give my time and energy to reach out and care for middle and high school students. Giving back to the Young Life community that has helped me grow as a person is more than I could ask for.
Hi,
to help serve
the job ofas server and laundry girl,
Throughout the course of the month, I learned a great deal of working with other
and soon,
we had lost the initial spirit of excellence.we had strived so hard to master.
The energy in the dining hall revived as...
These are just suggestion so feel no obligations to make any changes. I think you should clarify the "lost" workers part, the word sound like something way more serious
I am not suppose to say this but I think you have some redundant adverbs and adjectives :) (the reason was bc one of the moderators pointed out to me that it was one of my weaknesses as well)
