Stanford: students possess intellectual vitality, tell us about an idea or experience that developed your intellectual vitality....
Yea my topic is a little touchy, but it is what happened so I am willing to take the risk.(((((Disclaimer: I am by no means racist. It was just awkward for me to visit the mosque post 9/11.))))))))))) If i come off as bigot please tell me.
During the summer of 2011, my World Religions professor assigned me to attend an Islamic mosque for a religious experience project. I was uncomfortable because, the media led me to believe Muslims were outcasts. I was also raised by Hindu dogma to believe Muslims pillaged our land, and as an agnostic, I was indifferent to religion. Unexpectedly, the experience opened my mind to exploration.
I arrived at the mosque, skin drowning in sweat. Mr. Khair, the director of Islamic prayer in Melbourne, immediately spotted me from my picture. He walked up, shook my hand, and said, "Assalamo Allaikum" (peace be upon you). As I walked, my ears were greeted by a harmonious azan (the Muslim call to prayer). The voice from the speaker surrounded me; tuning my heart in sync with the rhythm. I was captured.
When I entered the mosque, Mr. Khair placed me in an observatory with my torso away from the Qibla (a stone wall). The prayer reminded me of the 2008 Olympics opening ceremony. The Chinese "fou" drummers were uniformly pounding the drums in powerful synchronization to exemplify the might of China. Much like the Olympics, the cohesion of praying voices exhibited a strict and influential faith. I was swept by a faint realization of why people warship God: devotion and honor.
After the prayer, I interviewed with Mr. Khair. As an outsider, I discussed society's views on Islam. Gently, he clarified "most Muslims practice and spread faith peacefully," and added that his branch aids impoverished locals. Although never enraged with hate, I still felt ill-informed and guilty. I asked myself, would I blindly follow people's criticisms without proper evidence?
My experience unshackled my mind from propaganda. By experiencing the Islamic faith, I realized forming my own research would relieve me of false thoughts. Reborn as a student of intellectual thought, curiosity of art, language, and culture replaced my ignorance. I hope we can soon live in a world where people are not judged by beliefs, but character because when ignorance reigns life is lost. I am only one man, but if I rid this world of my ignorance, it has indeed become a slightly better place.
I followed most of your essays and I must say that you write extremely well.... You have a very unique and interesting writing style. I don't find anything here to comment for further improvement. It's well written and in my opinion, ready for submission.
Great story and great presentation :) .... So I made it a "FEATURED" essay :)
Good Luck!
Amazing, i have never been featured before...and I thank you so much for your kind words...it means a lot to me coming from you..it gives me hope
All your essays deserve to be featured and they are really good for others to read too. I wish you'd become a contributor and help others to improve their essays :)
I have helped a few people here and there, but I will definitely give back to this
Forum after my essays are uploaded in a few weeks...I have no intention of using the forum as a spellcheck then jetting because that is rude. lol
I was also raised by Hindu dogma to believe Muslims pillaged our land, and as an agnostic, I was indifferent to religion. Unexpectedly, the experience opened my mind to exploration. (The modifier "by Hindu dogma" may be defining either clause in your sentence and is therefore a squinting modifier. Make sure it is clear which clause is being modified by this word.)
Other than the one I mentioned above, I think your essay is wonderful and was delightful to read. You are definitely a gifted writer :)
(The modifier "by Hindu dogma" may be defining either clause in your sentence and is therefore a squinting modifier. Make sure it is clear which clause is being modified by this word.)
Yup...when I was writing the essay I spent a good five minutes trying to figure out how to restructure it because I knew it sounded a bit awkward...and I still cannot figure out how to change it up...
how about this : Also, Hindu dogma raised me to believe Muslims pillaged our land, and as....
Bingo! I think starting off with "Also, Hindu dogma raised me to believe Muslims pillaged our land, and as" .... an agnostic, I was indifferent to religion is a better, more coherent way of expressing your thought. I couldn't find nothing else wrong with what you wrote, It's overall a pretty decent essay.
faint realization of why people warship God
*worship
I have no intention of using the forum as a spellcheck
It's cool though.
Haha...wow I feel stupid
WOW! This essay has potential to make impact on people. This is amazing!
am only one man, but if I rid this world of my ignorance, it has (WILL ) indeed become a slightly better place.
