I gave my essays to some of my relatives who are now in universities and they said my essays are a bit too childish and game related, which is completely opposite to what I intended. But please tell me what you guys think, should I summit something like this?
And if I do, should I shorten it and how can I make sounds more realistic?
Thanks in advance.
*NOTE: I finished this essay at 4AM in the morning, so there will be plenty of errors. Sorry for the inconvenience.**-TOPIC OF CHOICE: As a young child, what influenced you that allows you to be as you are today?
**A Blocky Youth**
I slowly open my dreamy eyes to a world full of multicolor blocks. My senses begin to adapt to this wondrous land, where a massive army stand at arms behind me, obeying my every order. The shining armor plates pressing on my body, as heavy as they are, suit my position as the mighty emperor of this enormous kingdom, my kingdom. Filled with joys, I sluggishly raise my sword in the air, signaling the existence of the ultimate supremacy that reigns over this country. I slightly smile.
However my prideful stance does not last long. My eyebrows join closer when I spot a huge redness in the distance. The evil fire dragon Deathwing has descended from its hideout, and is now wrecking havoc upon my kingdom that I built from blood and sweat. The blazing flame from the villages burns my eyes. I cannot accept this. My heroic blood boils within me. This reign of terror must be stopped, for the happiness of the people and the safety of the world.
Immediately after the thought passes my mind, I let out a loud, deafening scream: "Charge!!!" Without delay, under my command, my army mobilizes toward the gigantic creature - my mortal enemy. Rage explodes inside my heart as I clumsily climb on top of my trusty battle mount. Then without hesitation, I gallop at full speed toward the malevolent dragon, while cursing it with foul words. With archers spraying limitless arrows in the back, and knights charging orderly in the front, the situation is already too clear to me: we will win.
Due to my early judgment, I have underestimated the violent beast. Deathwing has already noticed the knight in gold, shimmering armor in the lead of the ground-trembling army behind him. Instantaneously, he projects himself into the air with his massive leathery wings. His wild yellow eyes glued on the flesh of these futile human - us. Then without any warnings, not even a roar, he shreds the wind as if he is homing missile whose target is me. Despite this, I do not back down. The distance between us shortens - the distance of sword and fangs. Finally, we clash.
Unfortunately, the clear, hasty chimes of my exasperating alarm clock utterly obliterate the feeling of awe from my obvious victory. My sleepy eyes rapidly blink, as if they are still refusing to escape from the realistic perception of my dream about LEGO. It appears strange to me how I am experiencing a dream about mere toys which I have not played with for five years.
Thinking back, each of those tiny, colorful blocks were different pieces that constructed a part of my childhood which I hesitate to part. In my vision, these blocks are like events which shapen the course of one's life. Some blocks are bigger, some are smaller, but as a whole, every block contribute individually to the perfection of one object - might it be a huge dragon, brave knights or burning villages. The path of nurture of one being inevitably starts with its childhood. As for me, these LEGO blocks filled my childhood with creativity which I am extremely grateful for its usefulness academically. Furthermore, even though my dream only exists in the form of toys, it makes me feel overjoyed to be doing the thing I always wanted: making the world a better place.