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'a BMW, dream school: U of M Ann Arbor' - Short Response about College


Dilara1010 4 / 17  
Dec 20, 2011   #1
Describe the unique qualities that attract you to the specific undergraduate College or School to which you are applying at the University of Michigan. How would that curriculum support your interests? (500 words maximum)

Everyone has that dream car, that dream school, and that dream job that they want. My dream car: a BMW, dream school: U of M Ann Arbor, and dream job, a pediatric dermatologist. These have been in my dreams from as long as I can remember; I am determined to make them reality. I was only in the fifth grade when I realized that I wanted to be a physician. I knew that this dream was not one that I would soon forget, such as I had done with wanting to fly or becoming an astronaut. However, becoming a doctor is not the easiest task in the world, a great university is essential. From watching foot ball games on television to hearing about it through my family and friends, I knew that the University of Michigan was the one I wanted to attend. I knew that if I attended this school not only would I make myself proud I would make the people around me proud as well. I wanted to be a wolverine; it was set in my mind.

Senior year came and I applied to Ann Arbor, and did not get accepted. However, this has not stopped me continuing to try my hardest in order to fulfill my dreams. In fact, it has helped me to try harder in the things that I do. I am currently attending the University of Michigan - Dearborn, and am trying my hardest in order to show that I am worth it. Ann Arbor has always been only a 30 minute car drive away and has always been my getaway with my friends and I. I love the environment and the people of the city. On visits with my family I have also visited the campus and to me it is the place I want to be.

To accomplish my dreams I know that the College of Literature, Science, and Arts at the University of Michigan, will allow this. Of course this curriculum will support me in that it will provide me with the education I need to be able to get me where I want to go. With this curriculum I believe that I will become a well rounded student in all subject areas, with over 3000 courses I trust that I will be able to be confident with the courses I choose. With the diversity of course options I will be able to combine my options and pursue in all areas that I am interested in. Not only does this college have more than enough courses it provides students with the opportunity to expand on their learning and reach out, such as research and internships. This college will give me the opportunities that I need in order to fulfill my dream and continue on to medical school. It will support and enable me to make that childhood dream come true.

I am having a lot of trouble with defining the unique qualities that attract me to the school. I feel as though I do not describe this enough.
kzheng 3 / 3  
Dec 20, 2011   #2
I think you could spend less time elaborating on your aspirations of becoming a pediatric dermatologist, since U-Mich is not the only place you can go to get a good medical education, and spend more time talking about how the departments at the school attract you (courses, unique programs, professors, etc.) You start getting into the specifics in the third paragraph, but you need to elaborate more. Long story short, cut out some of the first paragraph, and really elaborate in the last paragraph.
erndawg 4 / 13  
Dec 20, 2011   #3
I agree with the poster above. If you can replace the name of the college with another one (see if you can do that with yours), then you should consider revising it. You need qualities that make U Mich unique. I am sure you can easily find those because you seem to be very familiar with the school. Best of Luck!

Help Me with my common app essay please? :)


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