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"not born a scientist" - Why Ohio State University Essay (Computer Science)


blackzodiac 1 / -  
Dec 29, 2009   #1
Hey,
I'm applying to the Ohio State University and here is my essay
Im a student majoring in Computer Science:

"I strongly believe that it is not intelligence alone that brings success, but also the drive to succeed, the commitment to work hard and the courage to believe in yourself."

I was not born a scientist. As a kid either, I did not show any inclination for putting together broken toys. What I always had was the drive to learn and improve, the drive to imbibe and explore. As an example; as a child- with a small booty of my vocabulary of English words- I would get exasperated upon reading difficult articles in newspapers. Hence, even reading a newspaper did not come naturally to me; it was due to this drive to understand it word for word- when the rest of the world seemed to understand without many problems. Today, I claim to be a voracious reader, my interest ranging from philosophy to world economics and from 'Time' to 'Science Reporter'. I have not just evolved naturally, but I have worked towards evolving myself.

In middle school I had developed a liking for science due to the fact that it empowered me with an independence to reason at all levels, be it laboratory experiments or the day to day twinkling of stars. Having been scared of the dark, it gave me utmost satisfaction to conclude that the weird sounds that I invariably heard at nights were actually due the expansion of furniture in my room. Scientific journals, magazines, seminars et al, only attracted me more towards science. In the eighth grade I had come across GW Basic, a high level computer language, as part of my computer science curriculum. At first I seemed to feel lost in the midst of a plethora of syntax that had to be remembered. Upon several perusals of the text and a heuristic approach, I began to realize the power of the language as a powerful problem solving tool. The problem as great as the 'Tower of Hanoi' could be solved with just a few set of lines! I was truly amazed. I started taking a keen interest in programming. I moved on from writing programs that worked like a slot machine, to the ones that could predict your favorite color and finally the one for my uncle's company-for the management of monthly wages in accumulation. I had started this work in a stereotypical manner of tying code lines directly into the computer. For some time to come I suffered a lot of frustration on account of disorganization. Gradually, I began to structure and organize my work. When the job was done, I had not only strengthened my theoretical concepts but had built an immense amount of confidence to experiment. I had learnt the importance of organization and documentation in programming. It is from this experience I had realized how essential field work was and where a self-directed research could take you.

Of late, I have been reading a lot about the idea of replacing semiconductor chips with dna. Computing technology has always been about speed and size. With the advent of the dna over semiconductors we could see a tremendous change in processing speed and also a tremendous reduction in size. The power that dna computing can deliver is simply terrific. A simple dna computer can fail the fastest super computer that we have today. I have a strong desire to undertake research work in this field. With the kind of extensive research environment at the Ohio State University, I can definitely see myself indulging in prolific research work. Applying to take a transfer to your university is not only to indulge in field or research work- I am looking forward to much more. I think, a stay at your University would broaden my outlook on the way I perceive the world, tackle problems and contribute to the benefit of people around me. I am looking forward to being a citizen of the world, who could relate to one and all. I have a deep inkling to contribute to the development of my motherland once I am done with my education. India is besieged with numerous problems that hinder its growth. I want to come to your University to learn a 'Something' so that when I get back to India I have a solution to at least one of its problems.

The essay limit is around 300 words and its due by the 1st.
Any kind of help, criticism would be appreciated.
Thank you :-)
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 31, 2009   #2
I think I see the effect you are trying to have at the beginning, there. You are trying to say that you are not like the many other applicants who may be "born scientists." I am afraid you did not completely make that point, though. I suggest this:

I am not a "born scientist." That is to say, I did not exhibit the qualities of a scientific prodigy, solving scientific problems at a young age or putting together broken toys.

Okay, and the first paragraph focuses on curiosity and willingness to work. However, the three concepts we are dealing with are "drive," "commitment" (to work), and "courage." I think you should specifically refer to drive, commitment, and courage in that first paragraph.

Of late, I have been reading a lot about the idea of replacing semiconductor chips with dna.

Capitalize DNA. More importantly, though, this is a new idea you introduce in this topic sentence, and it has nothing to do with that intro paragraph.

Here is a way to fix the intro:
I have not just evolved naturally, but instead I have been proactive about my evolution, exploring _________, ___________, and ____________. Fill in the blanks with some main ideas from this essay.


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