A range of academic interests, personal perspectives, and life experiences adds much to the educational mix. Given your personal background, describe an experience that illustrates what you would bring to the diversity in a college community, or an encounter that demonstrated the importance of diversity to you
NOTES: Did i answer the question? is it too personal?
Although I am one of millions of teenagers born into struggling middle class families, my life thus far has been anything but typical. In the last ten years of my life I have moved six times in three different states. Being an African American teen, and originally coming from a predominately African American neighborhood, at one time, it was all I knew. However, I always suspected there was more to the world than what I grew up knowing.
I am originally from Long Island, New York. When I was about two years of age my mom moved us to Syracuse with my sister's father. He was offered a better job just after my fourth birthday in Nashville, Tennessee. Six years later we moved to Goodlettsville, Tennessee. I have so many memories, from playing in the woods to fishing tad poles out the creek. We lived in a very nice, peaceful neighborhood, where kids were out playing all day long without any problems. I was devastated when my mother told us we were moving and couldn't really understand it.
She left my sister's father behind, and in the summer of two thousand four I moved from Tennessee to Stephens City, Virginia. It was a predominately a Caucasian town and school. I thought my life was over. This unfamiliar town was like a whole new world. It was my first day of middle school and I could feel my stomach turning. Walking down the halls while people stared, I knew I stuck out like sore thumb. Suddenly I was quickly cut off by a four malicious-looking Caucasian girls, and it was at that moment that I was introduced to 'ignorance'. I had never heard any type of racial slur until that moment. I had heard such things on Television but never knew that people actually said these things to one another. From then on middle school was a joke for me. It was hard for my mother to raise three teens and be a single mom. So, she suggested we move back to New York around the rest of our family. I was filled with joy when my mom gave us the news that we were moving to New York. In the summer of two thousand nine we were back on the road again, and our destination was Freeport, New York.
Starting my freshman year, in high school, I told myself it was time for a change; a fresh new start. Freeport is a very diverse town. I came in contact with people from all different ethnicities, religious beliefs, sexualities, personalities, abilities, spoken languages, and furthermore they introduced me to a wide variety of interests. This really opened my eyes to a whole new world of people. Freeport High School has so much to offer, with all different types of activities and clubs. From Hispanic Heritage to Robotics and Gay Straight Alliance Clubs, Freeport High School has it all. I am currently an active member of DECA. Distributive Education Clubs of America, DECA is a not-for-profit student organization with members in all fifty U.S. states, the District of Columbia, Canada, China, Germany, Guam, Hong Kong, Korea, Mexico and Puerto Rico. I had pleasure of traveling to competitions and state conferences with DECA, meeting many people from all over the United States an its neighboring countries. Moving to such a diverse setting helped me find the diversity within myself. Some may say moving around frequently is not good, but for me it was a positive experience . Moving helped me see the bad and good in life. Seeing and living through the good and bad in life helped me become a better person; a wiser and more understanding person towards others.
Encounters with diversity remind us how little casual differences really matter. I have learned that there are no real schisms dividing humanity. The key is getting to know people who have different backgrounds, interest, and appearances. This realization allows us to discard our prejudices and accept people for who they are. So I offer my thoughts, abilities, beliefs and background experience to add to the diversity of your college community.
1st Paragraph- "...what I grew up knowing " kind of awkward sounding-- maybe "...than what i knew." or you could simply omit that part and stop at "world" (thinking about word counts )
2nd Paragraph- "Six years later,..."
3rd Paragraph- "It was a predominately a Caucasian town and school."
GOOD IMAGERY IN THIS PARAGRAPH
The rest is good, your last paragraphs answer the "times you experienced diversity"
Check out mine please!
i feel like its a strong essay on the whole..other than the few errors that cortniseb mentioned above, i feel that the first three paragraphs should be shortened since quite frankly i was pretty bored and you don't want to bore the admissions officers
"Starting my freshman year, in high school, I told myself it was time for a change" I feel like this sentence is a little cheesy..try to work around it a little...other than that it looks great
I would most definitely shorten it, seeing that your essay has nearly 700 words.
I would also recommend you make a bit more dramatic (add some adjectives, perhaps)
nonetheless, you essay was very well written and impacting
good luck!!
