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Born in USA as a Muslim/ U MICH; COMMUNITY ESSAY


MKhan 2 / 5  
Dec 31, 2012   #1
Essay #1 (Required for all applicants. Approximately 250 words.)
Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it.

Being born in the United States as a Muslim with desi (south and southeastern Asian) heritage in me, I have to say that choosing a specific community was not easy. But I consider myself to be part of a unique community that has a part of all of these and is commonly found in Asian countries. Our community is always open to the west and to people from other backgrounds but at the same time, we hold on to our traditions and religious beliefs.

One of the things that intrigued me the most is family. Family is one of the biggest differences you will see between our community and the world around us. Here in Michigan, a lot of people leave their homes as soon as they turn eight-teen to start their own new life and only visit their parents once in a while. but as soon as you take a closer look at our community, you will see two to three- sometimes even four- generations living under the same household providing and caring for one another. Our religion, the core of our culture and community, teaches us to take care, respect, and honor our elders.

This is why we have a strong bond between one another. If there is a newcomer in the community, everyone gives in a little bit to help the newcomer settle in as if he were a part of our family as well. This warmth that our community gives is something that many people overlook but through time that will change as more people learn to respect not only their family members, but people outside their family as well.

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currently 274 words. This is my first essay I've written so please help with any mistakes, additions, deletions, etc.
Any feedback is greatly appriciated Thank You!
mnunez1107 - / 6 2  
Jan 1, 2013   #2
I dont think you need this:
"a lot of people leave their homes as soon as they turn eight-teen to start their own new life and only visit their parents once in a while. but as soon" its irrelevant and it doesnt distinguish your community because that usually happens in every community.
OP MKhan 2 / 5  
Jan 1, 2013   #3
Alright here we go first correction
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Being born in the United States as a Muslim with desi (south and southeastern Asian) heritage in me, I have to say that choosing a specific community was not easy. But I consider myself to be part of a unique community that has a part of all of these and is commonly found in Asian countries. Our community is always open to the west and to people from other backgrounds but at the same time, we hold on to our traditions and religious beliefs.

One of the things that intrigued me the most is family. Family is one of the biggest differences you will see between our community and the world around us. If you take a closer look, you will see two to three- sometimes even four- generations living under the same household providing and caring for one another. Our religion, the core of our culture and community, teaches us to take care, respect, and honor our elders.

This is why we have a strong bond between one another. If there is a newcomer in the community, everyone gives in a little bit to help the newcomer settle in as if he were a part of our family as well. This warmth that our community gives is something that many people overlook but through time that will change as more people learn to respect not only their family members, but people outside their family as well.

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thank you to mnunez1107


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