prompt: "Magis," a Latin word meaning "more," is often cited in reference to goals of Jesuit education, which seeks to help students become better, do more, and have as much impact on society as possible. How do you hope to achieve the Magis in your life?
I have not revised for punctation and grammar, so I know its rough in that area
I am looking for content suggestions:
does my essay answer the prompt?
is it deep/significant enough?
Sitting by the Rio Grande river, the night is silent with anticipation hanging, almost palpable, in the air. Suddenly, a fluid low tenor interrupts the silence, and the melodious sound of a flute echoes across the valley. Although I am uncomfortably perched on a rock, I don't care; in that moment, I am completely captivated by the music of the pueblo.
The Taos Pueblo is an indian reservation in Taos, New Mexico located just a few miles from Santa Fe. Freshman year, when my school offered the opportunity for a service trip there, I immediately signed up, interested for a new experience.
When a small group of us arrived, we spent our time doing community service in the form of building fences and renovating clay ovens. The community service was definitely rewarding, but the most fruitful part of the trip for me was actually interacting with the Taos people and learning about Native American Culture at the source: from activities such as listening to traditional flute music in kivas to participating in sweat lodges, I was able to immerse myself in a whole different world. Since then, having gone to Taos several more times in subsequent years, I have developed a tenuous connection with the Pueblo, its people, and their culture.
Through my trips to Taos, I have learned how important it is to keep an open mind and, most importantly, to retain respect for everything I observe and do. I realized that once I broadened my perspectives, discarding preconceived notions and alleviating any skepticisms, I was able to learn so much more: for example, during my first visit to Taos, when a group of us went to the annual summer Powwow, I had the chance to dance and participate in it. Although dancing wasn't - and still isn't - my forte, I decided to do it anyways with the one other classmate. By participating in Powwow, I was able to understand more about it as I actually experienced the rhythm of the drums and the emotion in the movements.
I realize that in order to truly enhance my own perspectives, I have to try and understand other people's perspectives first. Presently, I don't have an explicit vision of what I want to do yet or where my path for the future will take me; however, I know that if I maintain an open mind and respect for the things I do and people I encounter, I will not only learn as much as I did in Taos, but make a greater impact on the world. With this simple strategy in hand and my incentives strong, I can achieve magis.
I think your essay does answer the prompt because the question asks how do you find magis in your life, and you answered by talking about keeping an open mind about all the things encountered and the narration you used was very good.
The example you used as significant because it impacted you in such a way that you revisited the reservation. While there you gave an example of keeping an open mind showing how you danced even though it wasn't you forte.
I think the descriptiveness you used in this was very very good and makes me very jealous. Could you read the one I posted and give advice on how to create something that is much more descriptive?
