Essay 1: In no more than 250 words, please tell us why BU is a good fit for you and what specifically has led you to apply for admission? (Currently at 208)
I had never visited Boston before I flew from Spain to start high school as a freshman. Nevertheless, it didn't take long before I called the city home. Boston offers an environment that fosters culture, diversity and a sense of community -- all important features to me -- and that is clearly demonstrated in Boston University. Home of apt intellectuals displayed on its faculty and student alumni, BU evokes academic prestige -- a legacy of groundbreaking education that will motivate me to work to my fullest potential. I'm mostly captivated with the strength of BU's Department of Biology, offering a breadth of specialized courses while encouraging its students to participate in research in and out of class. This will give me the essential/fundamental foundation to continue to my graduate studies. Moreover, BU will offer me incomparable opportunities for internship positions in laboratories and the medical field with the possibility to intern abroad. If given the opportunity to become part of [lacking the exact word here, help!] and make/leave my mark contributing positively to society putting into good use the tools Boston University will make available to me, I would not think twice. Boston University is the university where I would gladly spend the next four years of my life.
Looks fine... Wait for others to suggest and I guess you can start with a comparison with other universities... instead of city... Yet I would say let others also suggest you...
thanks. anyone else?? please be harsh if you must!
very well written but in the first sentence are you saying that you moved to boston from spain? elaborate on your first sentence more
yes @tahanw13 I moved from Spain to Boston when I was ~13 years old to start high school as a freshman. anyone else??
elaborate on biological studies
part in the help section - talk about a medical or biological department there
pretty good though
thank you! anyone else? please be honest!
If given the opportunity to become part of [lacking the exact word here, help!] and make/leave my mark contributing positively to society putting into good use the tools Boston University will make available to me, I would not think twice.
I think that this sentence is a bit too long ; try making it more clear by splitting into two ?
And, for the lacking word : I'm not sure what you wanted to say, but is it "BU's community "?
Apart from that, it's all very good . I really like it ! Good luck .
look, i said this before and i will say this again, your essay is quite generic. I know there isn't much you can write about, but you praise BU a lot and it sounds like a brochure for the school. Instead of the superficial praises, stick to focusing on its practicalities. I dunno if any of that made sense because im really tired so you should hesitate at taking my opinion
Perhaps on the second or third sentence, you may want to elaborate on the campus setting, why is it so special?
The urban setting that Boston University gives may be special and not comparable to other cities' urban settings.
just a consideration though, if you don't take the env seriously... I mean Boston is a beautiful place... so.. up to you!