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Boston University - Why BU? (6 sentences) and 3words that describe you Essay


Significa 5 / 14  
Dec 29, 2009   #1
In five or six sentences, tell us how you first became interested in BU and what steps you have taken to learn more about us.

Boston University has been a college of interest to me for a long time. When I visited Boston two years ago, I fell in love with the city and hoped to find a college that resided in Boston. I explored many websites, asked friends and relatives but the only college in Boston that seemed to fit my personality the best is BU. I have visited many websites about BU and looked all over the BU website and it never ceases to amaze me. To top it all off, many of my friends are also interested in BU.

In an essay of no more than 500 words, please select three words that describe you best and tell us how you will use these qualities/characteristics to contribute fully to the BU community.

There are many different people in the world. Some people are active participants in their communities, some people are friendly people adored by their peers, and others are dedicated workers hoping to achieve their goals. Me? I am a mix of all three of these qualities. I inhabit a balance of all three of these qualities that make me a well rounded candidate for BU.

My active participation in my school and community is one of my qualities that I admire most and probably the most useful to the BU community. Active participation is the key to growth in many communities. By participating, a person can improve himself and also his community. In school, I played on the Varsity Fencing Team. Not only do I compete for my school for reward and recognition but I serve as a powerful moral support for my teammates. I actively participate in all the events and act as a powerful persuasion for my teammates to help them succeed. Furthermore, I help the troubled students in my school by tutoring math. Everyday afterschool, I spend time assisting my peers with their work or no one requires help, I assist the teachers in their day's work.

However, this participation does not cease outside of school. Sometimes I assist the mentally disabled individuals via the Special Olympics program. Through two hour sessions, I work as a counselor aiding students by teaching them to play soccer. Other times, I assist my community by participating in many fund raiser walks and causes by assisting them in raising money and participating in the events. I believe I can also actively participate in the BU community and contribute to it as I did here at home.

Furthermore, my friendly personality and dedication to my activities could offer the entire community an insight into a brighter future. In high school, I was a dedicated student who worked hard to achieve my goals. Starting as a normal student with regular classes, I gradually became one of the top students with all the hardest courses. More importantly, I learned about the different levels of society as I advanced through these different courses. This knowledge allows me to communicate with people of many different personalities. This social skill has made me friendlier and has allowed me to see the needs of different people. I hope to use this skill to contribute to the BU community by helping people accommodate with the many different customs and connect to the diverse population at BU.

With time, I believe these three qualities of mine will be of much assistance to the BU community. My active participation along with my friendly personality and dedication will help the BU community evolve into a friendlier and social community.

Please be as harsh as you need but be honest :)

onnanoko - / 5  
Dec 30, 2009   #2
Are you writing one paragraph about each quality? If so, I cannot tell which paragraph matches up with which quality.

The first paragraph makes you sound a little conceited. I know your trying to write about yourself in good light, but saying that people adore you seems like bragging.

This sentence is difficult to handle: "Everyday afterschool, I spend time assisting my peers with their work or no one requires help, I assist the teachers in their day's work." Maybe rewrite it as "Everyday afterschool, I spend time assisting my peers with their work. Or, if nobody requires help, I assist the teachers in their day's work."

This sentence is a little confusing "More importantly, I learned about the different levels of society as I advanced through these different courses." Are you saying that difficulty of class correlates with level in society? You might want to clarify.

This is a good essay, but I think it doesn't flow as well as it could.
The why BU short answer is just fine. I do not think you need to focus on it too much.
I hope you found these comments helpful, and I'm sorry if you did not.
angie127 12 / 49  
Dec 30, 2009   #3
One thing to avoid in an essay is listing what you already mentioned in your application. I assume that you've already listed your participation in the Fencing team, Special Olympics, etc. Maybe focus on one of the activities and expand how you participated in it and how it shows the quality you're trying to express there.

I'm also applying to BU. Good luck to both of us!
collegecrazy 3 / 8  
Dec 30, 2009   #4
You talk about three qualities but the prompt says to choose three words that describe you. Try to shorten the qualities into specific adjectives.
OP Significa 5 / 14  
Dec 30, 2009   #5
Hmm, it should be common sense though right?

I changed the first paragraph to this, maybe it looks like I read the prompt now :P

There are many different people in the world. Some people are active participants in their communities, some people are friendly people respected by their peers, and others are dedicated workers hoping to achieve their goals. Me? I am friendly, active, and dedicated. I inhabit a balance of all three of these qualities that make me a well rounded candidate for BU.
collegecrazy 3 / 8  
Dec 30, 2009   #6
That's better, it's more focused that way too. Good job :)
MangoLemonade22 - / 8  
Dec 30, 2009   #7
Since no one has commented on your Why BU essay, I will.

First, get rid of the last sentence. They don't care that your friends are applying there also and you all love BU and want to be a big BU happy family.

On a nicer note, it's good that you say BU is the one school in Boston that fits your personality best, but then you should take that and expand upon it. Write a sentence about your personality and a sentence about how that fits with a particular aspect of BU or just BUs philosophy in general.

good luck!


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