Feedback would be appreciated, there might be grammatical errors here and there, if people would spot them out I'd appreciate it!
Prompt:If you are applying to the Pratt School of Engineering, please discuss why you want to study engineering and why you would like to study at Duke.
I've always had a certain desire to get to the bottom of things, to understand how they work and if I can, replicate them and build similar things. Engineering is a profession that interests me; it is one I want to pursue and learn, to expand upon. Ever since I switched from the basic to the advanced versions of the sciences in tenth grade, I found a liking for Physics, Chemistry and Mathematics and soon enough, figured that I wanted to do Civil Engineering. Of course, this interest stemmed not only from liking subjects, but from the environment I live in. Dubai is a city booming with architectural and engineering success, such as the Burj Khalifa and other, seemingly tall structures. I have often found myself asking: "How are they built? What keeps them standing? How do they know how much building materials are needed?" and decided that Civil Engineering would be the key to my questions. After I found what I wanted to be, I had to then figure out where I wanted to study, so I searched for the top ten universities in the United States and found Duke. As soon as I began researching the university, I decided that this is the university for me. The various student groups, clubs and programs such as the "Engineering Student Government", the outstanding Civil Engineering program offered by Duke, the vibrant white and blue colours of the Blue Devils and the numerous, fascinating researches conducted by Duke make it the university of choice. Being an avid reader, Perkins Library caught my attention; the grand library that offers many beautiful reading rooms and study areas. Not to mention the von der Heyden Pavilion, the great glass walled space that is designed for gathering and studying. I would be honoured to be a member of Duke's student body, and a contributing citizen of its lovely campus.
I'm a student applying for schools also. Here's several of my personal advices.
It's a strong draft! Your background of living in Dubai and the resulting interests in civil engineering are very strong reasons for your major choosing. I like the continuous questions you posed in the first half!
But i feel that your reason of choosing Duke is slightly weaker than your self-demonstration.
"I've also found myself tinkering with electronics and building computers from scratch, a frustrating but rewarding task." this sentence might find a better place. I think the continuous questions below might better just cling to your questions posted before.
"the vibrant blue and white of the Blue Devils and the fascinating research done by Duke make it the university of choice."you may also add some specific courses or programs here to strengthen "why Duke". This can show you have done great works in knowing its learning experience.
For reference only! Good luck to us!
this interest stemmed not only from liking subjects, but from the environment I live in. this interest started not only from liking subjects, but from the environment I live in.stemmed means stopped!
Great work :)
The beginning is really good and your reasons are strong, the only thing I want to remark is
The outstanding Civil Engineering program offered by Duke, the vibrant blue and white of the Blue Devils and the fascinating research done by Duke make it the university of choice.
It above mentioned sentence it feels like you don't really have anything else to say and hence start writing about the blue and white of the Blue Devils.
