This is a good essay. I can suggest a few alterations though.
Also, with little support from anyone just the will power to succeed is a trait that makes her an extraordinary person.
This sentence has some issues. I suggest:
She had very little support from anyone but her will to succeed in life is a trait makes her an extraordinary person.My father has taught me lessons in life that I am sure will help me succeed to become a hardworking, honest, and intelligent man. In everything that I do, whether it is sports, academics, or social life my father pushes me to exceed the standards.
This is an important part of your essay since you have already shown that your mother had done a lot for your family.
My father too has always been by my side. He has guided me through life and has helped me reach the goals I have set for myself and at times helped me surpass them. My father's dedication would no doubt help me become a hardworking,honest and intelligent man.Hope my suggestions are helpful.
:)