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Bridge hanging between Western and Eastern culture; Why Brandeis?


karentu0315 1 / 2  
Jan 11, 2013   #1
Please help me with my Brandeis supplement-- why would you like to attend Brandeis.
I am an international student who is frustrated about the upcoming deadline.
Any help will be appreciated!!
thank you

While reading extensively, I became particularly interested in history. Bacon once said "Histories make men wise." I am always astonished how present can mirror history. From my secondary history study, I learned that what happens today can always make a reference from the history. Take China for example. Both Song Dynasty in 11 A.D. and the P.R.C in 1960s tried their best to avoid wars for the protection of economy. However, my curiosity and desire toward history pushes me beyond Chinese history to a deeper understanding of the world. I am so ambitious that I want to figure out the connection between the present and the past of the entire world, especially the four great ancient civilizations. I wondered why their glory declined during modern times. There must be clues of their decadence in present Eastern societies that I could find. I need a place to fulfill my own interest. Fortunately, I got the serendipity to find Brandeis. To me, Brandeis is the bridge hanging between western culture and eastern culture. The privilege of being a Brandeis student is to not only enjoy the profound global research but also gain a first-hand experience of middle-east. Brandeis never stops its students to explore. A history student can study flexibly beyond his own department due to his need. Nothing can block the will for academics in Brandeis. Under the guidance of talented faculty, I will definitely find my unique spot in history study as well as my future profession. Brandeis is like an amicable elder who steadily raising her children beside the vivid but historical city of Boston. I hope I would have the honor to characterize Brandeis as my alma mater and use what Brandeis offered me to make the history we are making better.
Kitsumi 4 / 97 16  
Jan 13, 2013   #2
This is a very well written essay. It answers the prompt, and it is fairly unique to Brandeis. There's just a couple of issues.

Bacon once said

Can you include the first name as well? Bacon is a very popular pork product, and while I know it's the name of some philosopher I just got distracted.

reference from the history

Boththe Song Dynasty in 11 A.D and the P.R.C in 1960' s

protection of their economy

I am so ambitious that I want to figure out the connection between the past and the present of the entire world, especially the four great ancient civilizations in particular .

I want to know why

Fortunately, I found Brandeis

of middle-east

the Middle East (capitalize)

Brandeis is like the amicable elder who raises her children beside the vivid but historical city of Boston (I thought Brandeis is in the Middle East?)

I hope I will have the honor to name Brandeis as my alma mater and use what Brandeis offered me to make the history. we are making better.

Can you like this post please? Thanks.
OP karentu0315 1 / 2  
Jan 13, 2013   #3
Thank you for your reply.
I will try to fix it.
Would you mind to see my revision?
I am working on it


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