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The bridge between two immiscible worlds. UChicago Essay!


tehfunkicookie 19 / 50  
Dec 30, 2011   #1
Hey guys. This was a pretty hard essay for me. I think I kind of did bad on this rough draft. So please help me grade it! Be as hard as you like because I REALLY want to get into this school :P =)

PROMPT:
Spanish poet Antonio Machado wrote, 'Between living and dreaming there is a third thing. Guess it.' Give us your guess.

Imagine yourself dreaming (not daydreaming) of your own great invention. Now here is the catch: your dream was so good that when you wake up, you still remember it; however, all you are left with is the living world that surrounds you and your invention idea. So what is it that connects these two seemingly immiscible worlds? It is the act of creating.

Whether it be hard or easy to remember any dream, I believe that what exists between living and dreaming is the act of creating. When I dream, I feel as if I'm at a buffet: I am supplied with unlimited and different types of tools necessary to feed and satisfy my brain when I sleep. I'm am given the opportunity to come up with innovative or unique ideas to build or design things like hydrogen ion propelled Ironman suits that might change the world. As I grab each tool and put it in my mind, I construct the invention; however, when I wake up from the subconscious delicious meal , these things that I have created probably couldn't exist in the living world because of the lack of tools or the accepted scientific facts or theories that suggest that these inventions are impossible. Although I sometimes clearly remember these wacky and wild ideas, I'm given the same opportunity to create when I dreamed in the living world. As I transition from a mundane student to a potential engineer, I will gain the necessary knowledge and skills from great professors and unique research projects. I have the chance to reconstruct and recreate what I dreamed up for a few hours in the living world that might revolutionize the world using these technical skills and advanced technology that I have. Although there are limitations and obstacles that might hinder me from reforming my great invention, there is just more for me to discover and work with in. And just like a buffet, I'm given unlimited chances to go back and redesign or modify my ideas.

While dreaming, I create and come up with an idea. While living, I deal with the practical tasks and demands that I have. People often think that because of the huge disparity between these two worlds, there is nothing that can exist in between; however, this third thing is what initiates the invention from the dream, instigates it into the living world, and is the bridge that connects and supports the two immiscible and magical worlds: the act of creating.
shayshay3194 5 / 9  
Dec 30, 2011   #2
The way you put "not daydreaming" in parenthesis makes the sentences awkward, so you might just want to rephrase it. I would say something like "In my dreams, I am the master of great inventions." Changing it to that would force you to tweak some of the following sentences, though. Also, I used the word master because I felt you shouldn't use the word creator. I like your sentence "It is the act of creating." & I don't think the word should appear before then.

There's a typo where it should say "I am given" instead of "I'm am"

I kind of felt the Ironman suit reference didn't fit, because it distracted me by making me think about the movie. I might just take that little section out or replace it with a more original idea.

The section about "the lack of tools or accepted..." is wordy. I would just sum up all three of the reasons you gave, like "scientific barriers" or something along those lines.

I really like the topic of your essay; it sounds like it came from the mind of a UChicago student. I hope this helps you & you get accepted!
OP tehfunkicookie 19 / 50  
Dec 30, 2011   #3
thanks for the advice! I'll definitely look into it =)


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