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Briefly describe a time that your efforts have fallen short or a goal was not accomplished

Tdkohlert 1 / 2  
Jan 24, 2018   #1

Futile Efforts

I have 500 characters to describe a time I fell short. I planned to talk about my extreme shyness. This is just a summary of my situation and will write a 2000 character essay about how I overcame it later.

A major step in my life was starting high school; I didn't how to act, where to sit, or who to talk to. I would become light-headed contemplating every move, outfit, and hairstyle. The first week of school, I was chosen to read a paragraph in the disclosure document, I would begin to sweat and stutter every other word. I would feel a sigh of relief when it was over. I knew I couldn't keep this up for three years and that something needed to change.

The next section I will write about how I overcame this.
Is this a good description of my situation? Any grammar errors, etc?
Holt - / 7,651 1998  
Jan 24, 2018   #2
Tyler, shyness is a good topic but is isn't very effective in the context of shyness in relation to your high school life. Believe it or not, you are not the only shy student to have overcome it during high school. This is pretty much one of the most standard responses that are delivered to the reviewers by applicants. Based on the short summary I read, the information you will be providing about the effects of shyness upon you and potentially, how you overcame it, isn't going to leave an outstanding impression on the reviewer. Perhaps you have another goal or time when you fell short that you can discuss for the essay? It would be best for you to avoid cookie cutter situations such as the one you stated above. Whatever you use for the response needs to be unique and tells the reviewer something about you that he would not have known about your talents or character if you had not written about it as a response to this prompt.
OP Tdkohlert 1 / 2  
Jan 24, 2018   #3
I see where you're coming from. I've been trying to think of another topic and been really struggling with it. Thanks for the input! Im struggling with my AP Calc class right now... but i feel like thats just as generic as shyness, am I right?

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