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What can you bring on board - Calvin College


BlessBampoe 1 / -  
Nov 13, 2016   #1
This is my personal statement and any form of suggestions,comments,add up or corrections that would make this piece of text stronger and stand out would be appreciated

Prompt: Please submit a personal statement(250-500 words) describing how you will contribute to the academic,spiritual and community life at Calvin College

I seek a healthy spiritual and intellectual growth hence would like to join Calvin's pursuit of truth and knowledge. Offering the academic program I would like to pursue coupled with a deluxe Christian community is my main attraction to Calvin College. I would like to contribute to Calvin's campus life in my own unique way.

I have a passionate interest in research and laboratory work. I worked with my chemistry teacher on a project to find indicators for various gases. I would like to explore the rich terrain of science,and in collaboration with colleague researchers and help from professors, investigate pioneering discoveries to help and improve society. I love to motivate and assist students who are weak in science and mathematics. I tutored two of my classmates in further mathematics and chemistry and also helped a new student in my class to cover lessons he had missed. I have developed great love in assisting people academically and would like to continue such endeavour at Calvin.

Being an active member of the Young People's Guild(YPG) of the Presbyterian Church of Ghana, I have inculcated spiritual and moral lessons which have strengthened my faith in God and also learned how to put the Word of God to practical use. At Calvin, not only do I seek to build and deepen my faith in God but also encourage others to build up strong foundation of Christian knowledge and faith in God through our savior,Jesus Christ, through meditation and self-reflection. I aspire to utilize my YPG experiences to help my colleagues to develop emotionally and spiritually. I would join the Bible/Fellowship group at Calvin and would bring on board innovative ideas and contribute wholeheartedly to the Christian learning environment. Charity and volunteerism are prominent words in my vocabulary as they are essential in one's spiritual growth and hence would partake in community services at Calvin and and be charitable also.

My secondary school,Galaxy International School, comprises students from over 35 countries. My exposure to the campus life at my school has taught me to be tolerant and enriched my campus life by embracing the diversity of other students. Being part of a bigger community at Calvin will not be a first time experience but rather an opportunity to upgrade my social relationship with other people from all walks of life. At Calvin, I would make an individual effort to become part of the community life and would be willing to contribute. I would cheer the college during games,participate in community services and obey the rules of the college. I am an attacking midfielder in the men's soccer team in my school and would like to in this activity at Calvin. I would like to be part of the men's soccer team in Calvin and uniquely contribute my quota to the development of the team spirit of the soccer team. I would participate in inter-college sports activities.With high sense of hard work twinned with teamwork,I hope my role in the team would be of great help to the men's soccer team at Calvin.
fall2017 4 / 17  
Nov 13, 2016   #2
@BlessBampoe
I really like your personal statement. It displays your eagerness to joing Calvin. However, I think it would be better if you could elaborate more on how you plan to contribute through sports. Also, I am in favor of giving it a good, precise ending. I hope you take it positively. All the best!
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4773  
Nov 14, 2016   #3
Bless, you have a pretty good overview of the activities that you plan to participate in while at Calvin. Your previous academic, spiritual, and community engagements are really nice to read about. However, you are constantly speaking in past tense in your essay. What you need to do is connect the past activity with the future activity. That means you should explain the past activity and then find the proper organization at Calvin to mention in the essay in relation to the activity. The idea being that you are already conscious about the activities that you can participate in and that you are looking forward to joining specific Calvin organizations in order to gain the experience that you crave.

For the community aspect, try to find a civic group at the university that you share some things in common with. These organizations will allow you to project the kind of future community participant you will be while at Calvin. You could even suggest that you will continue the work you did in Ghana by establishing a branch of the YPG at Calvin in an effort to promote solidarity and cultural learning / understanding among students.

Also, I agree with AvR, you should develop your idea about joining the sports team as a separate paragraph. That is still considered community participation but deals with a different side so it should be a stand alone paragraph.


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