I am going crazy because my deadline is in a few hours... I forgot I had to write this essay, so it's not that good.
Please I need help I am going crazy!!!
Pepperdine University is a Christian university committed to the highest standards of academic excellence and Christian values, where students are strengthened for lives of purpose, service, and leadership. How are you prepared to contribute to Pepperdine's mission and community of faith, learning, and service?
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"Nana, why are we doing this?". Every weekend, my grandmother took me and my cousins to help in the church. Since I was born, I lived in my grandmother's farm and was raised by her, and since she was a very religious person, faith played a big role in our family. I never really liked or understood why we had to go to the church almost everyday and be so involved in the community, but I always went just to please my family and not God.
When I turned 13, my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer. The thought of loosing her completely devastated me. I remember talking to her when she woke up from coma after her surgery, and she told me to have faith and believe that God would take care of her wherever she was. Since that day my relationship with God changed, and I started to devote myself to the Christian community not as a way of pleasing my family, but as a way of being thankful for the blessings God gave me. After weeks of praying for a miracle, my grandmother finally got better and since then, my relationship with God continued to grow everyday.
Through the past years, being involved with my community thaught me more than I could ever imagine, but above all, I learned to give back. I spent countless hours helping my grandmother with church festivals preparation, working on festivals'stands and collecting fod and clothing for donation. It felt amazingly great to do something positive for my community and also for myself.
Now I understand how important it was for me growing up in such a strong Christian community, and I am ready to bring my faith and the leassons I have learnt to Pepperdine, where my goal is to bring my culture into the diverse student body of this institution.
Suggestions:
(1) Since I was born, I lived in my grandmother's farm and was raised by her, and since she was a very religious person, faith played a big role in our family.
Run-on sentence:
Sentence: I was raised by my grandmother, and since she was a very religious person, faith played a big role in our family.
(Is it necessary to mention that you were raised on a farm. Is the farm something special or meaningful to you and your family? How would it tie into the purpose of the question?)
(2) I never really liked or understood why we had to go to the church almost everyday and be so involved in the community, but I always went just to please my family and not God.
This sentence is also a little lengthy.
Sentence: I never really liked or understood why we had to go to the church almost everyday and be so involved in the community. However, I always went to please my family and not God.
(3) Through the past years, being involved with my community thaught>>>>> taught
(4)I spent countless hours helping my grandmother with church festivals preparation, working on festivals'stands and collecting fod and clothing for donation.
Sentence: I spent countless hours helping my grandmother prepare church festivals, work at festival stands, and collect food and clothing for donation.
I think you have a good essay but should consider improving the length of your sentences. Remember quality over quantity. Good Luck with your college and scholarship search and I hope I didn't respond to this thread a minute too late (BEFORE THE DEADLINE)
Good Luck!!!!!
