Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 2


To bring forth excellence one must seek opportunity and recognize it; Peace Corps volunteer


mathewsgr 1 / -  
Feb 27, 2010   #1
Yes, I am applying to be a peace corps volunteer. I need feedback if i adequetly answered these questions:

*Your reasons for wanting to serve as a Peace Corps Volunteer; and
*How these reasons are related to your past experiences and life goals.
*How you expect to satisfy the Peace Corps 10 Core Expectations (please be specific about which expectations you expect to find most challenging and how you plan to overcome these challenges).

To bring forth excellence one must seek opportunity and recognize it. The Peace Corps is emblematical of incalculable integrity and selfless service. To bring forth peace one must bring forth understanding and I will be the glue to selfless service and understanding. Why do I want to join the Peace Corps? From time immemorial wars and social unrest have been fed by the poisoning effects of ignorance and misunderstanding. Language, religion, and beliefs have been the battlefield of all ages and I believe that my dedication to the Peace Corps will foster a surrender of misunderstanding. My concentration in business, time abroad, socialization with a multitude of international students and personal love of sociology brings a set of personal attributes Peace Corps is looking for. I want to be immersed in the unknown and come out more enlightened, educated, and worldly. Being at a military school and Army ROTC for two years has taught me lessons in police not peace. I want to join the Peace Corps because I seek the discipline of building local enterprises, or teaching English, or anything that I may be asked of. The main reason I want to join the Peace Corps is to undeniably help and further the people I am assigned to, but to be an effective leader in the United States and the rest of the world.

My experience in life has effectively created a desire to learn more and do more. Starting at a young age I began seeking diversity and harnessing it. My fondest experiences have been with friends from abroad, with differing languages and religions. Beginning with my friend from Bangladesh, who could speak several languages, was a Muslim, and meshed seamlessly into society. He taught me many things about struggling, overcoming, accepting, and adapting to other societies. Since then I've been on a personal journey to understand and be apart of the international community. My Bangladeshi friend was only the beginning in the lifelong search of knowledge. Since then I've befriended people from Vietnam, China, UAE, Turkey, Saudi Arabia, Bahrain, Egypt, and Europe. These people all taught me valuable lessons in culture and understanding. My life goals entail serving my country, learning Arabic, and promoting Peace through understanding. My past experiences have produced what I am today and the Peace Corps will produce what I am tomorrow.

Being in a military environment has taught me to obey and accept orders, while a civilian environment has taught me wisdom and to be open-minded. The ten Core Expectations will be followed and at times will not always be easy. However, nothing worth having is ever easy. For Core Expectation 1 I am ready to make an obligation for 27 months to advance peace and put some of my personal effects on hold. The first Core Expectation will be difficult at some points, like all a period of homesickness will happen. I will overcome and adapt to my new home in my assigned country. Core Expectation two will not be difficult for me. A culture shock will be temporary and a commitment to bringing and accepting new skills will be a successful transition. Keeping a native profile and being a decent human being, will keep my presence wanted and optimistic amongst my community. Serving where the Peace Corps asks me to go even under hardship is not an issue with me. I know the risks I am taking, but the rewards cannot be valued, wherever I'm needed I will go and in hardship I will flourish. Bringing back the subject of understanding Core Expectation 4 is what understanding is all about. Integrating and being accepted into any community is what I pride myself on and this expectation will not be extremely challenging. Responsibility is a trait not only natural, but through experience. I understand fully that I will be watched at all times and my conduct is important as well as professionalism. I've never had an issue with responsibility and can't consciously go back to a time when I ever had an issue with it. I make this promise now that I will follow all laws, be a proper representative of the United States, exercise good judgment, and represent my host country in a just and rightful way. These expectations are all extremely reasonable and I find that I will follow and achieve all expectations.

Thank You,
Gregg
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Feb 28, 2010   #2
From time immemorial wars and social unrest have been fed by the...

I think this sentence above should be your first sentence. All the stuff before it surely comes from the heart, but it's what some call "pontificating," or "waxing philosophical." And this part does not seem quite right: "...glue to selfless service and understanding."

If you want to write this part with these words, you need to use a dash or a comma instead of a period:
My fondest experiences have been with friends from abroad, with differing languages and religions -- beginning with my friend from Bangladesh, who could speak several languages, was a Muslim, and meshed seamlessly into society.

If you don't do that, the sentence that starts with "Beginning" is an incomplete sentence. I suggest this way:
My fondest experiences have been with friends from abroad, with differing languages and religions. Beginning with My friend from Bangladesh could speak several languages, was a Muslim, and meshed seamlessly into society.

This material is all very good and thoughtful. I think you can improve this last sentence, though, so that it does not have this confusing part:

"and I find that I will follow..."

:-)


Home / Undergraduate / To bring forth excellence one must seek opportunity and recognize it; Peace Corps volunteer
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳