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My brother, (Junior Reserve Officer) - someone who has made an impact in your life.


leanndra 1 / -  
Oct 24, 2010   #1
Can someone please edit my essay!

Everyone has that one chance to meet someone that truly makes an impact on their life. This person could be a teacher, a friend, a family member, or someone they met in different situations. That one person can change your whole perspective through one simple word, or their actions. In my life that role model would have to be my brother. Though he is not the best in the world his great confidence, success, and brotherly actions influenced me the most.

I have always been the quiet type, scared to compete, and frighten to try out for anything. In eighth grade, Recruiting Day was held at the middle school, which was led by the JROTC, (Junior Reserve Officer Training Corps), program at the high school. I had already told myself I was not joining JROTC because I didn't like the army. Well the speaker just happens to be my older brother, William Smith. He had the confidence to speak to the whole class of eighth graders and persuade most of them to join JROTC. To this very day I am in my fourth year of JROTC. It was simple things such as speaking or performing tasks, not caring how good he does, that made him confident. Just watching him gave me confidence, because as the only girl in the family I considered myself better than him. So if he could do it, I could do it even better.

My brother did whatever he put his mind to, and mostly succeeded in all of it. This made an impact on my life because I never believed I could succeed in anything. When I was constantly nagging myself about, my ACT score, joining the drill team, or even something as simple as running down the street he was there to help me succeed. He encouraged me to do much more. He believed I set low standards for myself, knowledge wise. I look to my brother, and I notice all his many accomplishments. He didn't have the best grades, he didn't have the best ACT score, but he was still able to succeed. So his succession and accomplishments have influenced me that as long as I do my best I can succeed as well.

Family always comes first. As my brother, he would not be my first choice for an inspirational person. But that doesn't mean he is not important to me. Living with him for 17 years, he has to have some importance to me. He is there for me whenever I need him. Even though we fuss and fight he would never let anything happen to me. But then again that's what big brothers are there for.

Therefore, as a family member he is very important to me. He has left an ever- lasting impact on me, that will live with me forever. I have learned through his success, confidence, and actions that I have the potential to be and do whatever I put my mind to. I have the ability to take charge of my life and make the best of it. Once that happens I can succeed at anything and all my worries are gone. So whenever I get lost or feel like everything is impossible I could think of my brother and all his accomplishments and know anything is possible.
leahh 2 / 3  
Oct 24, 2010   #2
sorry I can't get all my italics and red fonts where I want them to make it easier to understand! I hope you get the gist of what I was suggesting. Overall I would read through it and make sure that you are combining like ideas together where possible. Be sure they follow a logical order and you are not repeating yourself by simply saying something a different way somewhere else in the essay.


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