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Brown essay on advice

leslery 3 / 8  
Dec 26, 2009   #1
My mom has always said that "Parents open the doors and teachers light the way, but it depends on you to walk on the path." Although, we often get into fights about school and education, I have finally realized that this comment is true. My parents have always been my biggest supporters, sparing nothing to try and give me the best childhood. In fact I have enrolled myself in a multitude of courses from modeling classes to calligraphy in order to find my true passion. My parents were always kind and accepting even though I quit many extracurricular activities when I was young, simply because they were just not "fun." They have always encouraged my dreams, no matter how many different ones I have.

My teachers have also been very supportive. Whenever I needed help, I could always go in before or after school or even during break to ask questions. Also teachers like Mrs. Floto, my AP English Language and Composition teacher, made the class interactive. We had heated debates about topics that varied from the presidential election of 2008 to the meaning behind Chola Widow, and strangely all the subjects had some connection. She allowed students like me, to lead the discussion and delve into topics that were provocative. Through her class I learned how to express my ideas and find my interests. She helped me to utilize my personal interests and through our conversations, I found that I wanted to be in the medical profession. What I learned the most in her class was the need to relate each topic to personal experiences and helped us connect what we are learning to who we are as people.

When I was an academic tutor I tried to put those values into my own teaching. As I tutored the freshmen in the special education class, I tried to connect their studies to their interests by relating algebra to football touchdowns and making biology mnemonic devices to help them remember the nitrogen cycle. It was difficult, but I believe that those kids will remember the lessons that I taught. I hope that I have opened the doors for their own intellectual pursuits.

Because I grudgingly listened to my mother's advice when I was young, I feel that now as I come towards the new chapter in my life story, I will be able to take advantage of the opportunities that are thrust towards me. Because of my parents, teacher and my own effort, I have found a subject that I enjoy, biology, one that I hope to continue in college. Thus I think it's important for everyone to listen to my mother's advice, because no matter who we are, we need to use our own strength to walk on our journey through life.


Please tell me what you think!

daft123 5 / 8  
Dec 26, 2009   #2
Hi, I think you should elaborate more on how you "walked the path" in the second paragraph. you could talk about how you made an effort to be engaged in her class and how that help her light the way for your new interests or gave you a higher level of knowledge.

But this is a well written essay and i see no problems with grammar or organization
(please take a look at my purdue essay if you can!)

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