These were written in a few hours. Any feedback is always appreciated.
Please tell us more about your interest in Brown: Why does Brown appeal to you as a college option? Who or what has influenced your decision to apply?
"Does anyone know anything about Brown's curriculum?" My hand soared high into the air. In the past, I may have had trouble answering questions in math class---but this one, I knew. "Brown is notorious for their open-curriculum," I explained, "students are encouraged to explore various academic areas. It is all about being free to study what you want, no matter who you are." My peers and guidance counselor stared heavily toward my side of the room. The Brown admissions representative smiled, nodded, and further elaborated on my answer. On that day Brown had solidified in my mind. Brown had become the new summer home I have never been fortunate enough to have. It is at this new home that I would be housed under a roof of an open-minded community. I would be given the leisure of resting my feet on a sofa of independence, free to study what I wanted, yet invigorated by the idea of academic exploration. I want to enjoy the lush Italian culture on Federal Hill. Cheer with Bruno at Brown Stadium. Volunteer at the LGBTQ Resource Center. Ultimately, I am confident that at Brown my abilities would be tested. My beliefs would be questioned. My interests---inevitably molded.
Why are you drawn to the academic fields you indicated in Question #6?
Often, the general consensus is that no lessons are ever learned your last year of high school. Nothing new is capable of being taught---we seem to think we know everything. Although very recent, it was in my AP English Literature course that I had been given a completely different conception on literature and why it is written. My teacher had posed a simple question to the class, "Why do writers write?" The class was stumped. I was quick to admit that I myself had never given the question much thought, even though I was a die-hard bookworm. As a writer, I questioned my own motives for writing. What did I want to instill in readers? Suddenly, it had dawned on me. The answer was emotion. It is emotion that writers seek to invoke through their work. Novelists hope to teach new ideas. Poets encourage readers to cry, laugh, and to ask "why?" At Brown, I hope to study Literatures & Cultures in English to better understand the affect of literature on individuals. The Brown transnational approach towards literature would provide me with a refreshingly unconventional education in English, that which I yearn for. Literature teaches us more than "cliché" morals. It allows us to hear the voices of past generations. Conceptualize past civilizations. Learn from our mistakes. Literature's biggest pull is that which we take for granted---its ability to make us feel.
For the first essay, although you say a lot about how interested and how much research youve done into Brown, you don't really answer the question-
Why does Brown appeal to you as a college option? Who or what has influenced your decision to apply?
you don't say how you were first interested in the school or what influenced you... soo you need to incorporate that.
The second essay is very good and well written, right on track :)
Please help on my essay? Thanks
Thank you Shannon. I kind of hoped that my brief incorporation of the moment an Admissions Representative visited my school would answer the question as to what influenced my decision to definitely apply. As I re-read it, I can somewhat see your point. I also hoped that my answer to the Adm.Rep's question about the curriculum would emphasize the fact that I am attracted to the open-curriculum, and being free to study anything. I'll definitely try to tune it up and make the point clearer! I'll be happy to help on your essay!