This is what I've written so far in response to:
Please respond to one of the following questions: A, B, or C.
A. Why are you going to college?
B. Sculptor Jacques Lipchitz once said, "Cubism is like standing at a certain point on a mountain and looking around. If you go higher, things will look different; if you go lower, again they will look different. It is a point of view." With this in mind, describe a moment when your perspective changed.
C. What question could we ask to gain the most insight into you? What is your answer?
I initially was going for C - and wrote this question : Who are you?
But now, I feel like I can answer either A or C. any suggestions? Note: I feel like there's no transition between my paragraphs - Also feel free to give me your harshest criticism.
I have taken small steps my entire life towards a bigger picture. College is the next piece of my puzzle, but it's not a step, it's a leap because I am about to leave behind my childhood. I need to find myself, I need to know what I want, and I have so much to learn. I need to go to college to answer questions, and to fulfill my passion which lies in math and physics. I love to learn. Learning opens my mind and sets forth a new path for me to walk on.
I am a delicate mold of strong morals, an easy going personality and an adventurous spirit. No part of me is permanently rooted to the ground; however I choose to stand firm on many of my beliefs. My upraising has instilled strong sense of what is right and wrong. My parents have also passed on their religious beliefs that I have not only grown up with my entire life, but have grown upon me. Although I am open to other views and opinions, my own beliefs are set in stone deeper everyday as I have chosen to follow a similar path. Similarly, my Chinese culture will always stay with me. However, my open mind is always ready for new ideas and concepts. Thus I have been able to assimilate with the American culture and also adapt to the dominant Hispanic culture in Miami.
I often show my leadership and courageous personality. I don't like to sit back and watch, but instead I naturally push forward and take charge. I also work very well with others because of my ability to make compromises and listen to people. My belief that the greatest good occurs when the greatest number benefit has led me to be a great leader as my own sacrifice may be the key to success of my team as a whole. As my brother and I have learned growing up, it's best for us to work together. I have taken the experience of learning how to share a room together and applied it to the outside world. As much as I would like to have things my way, I know we function best when we cooperate and work together.
Edit: Character count: 1966/2000
I think that your first paragraph leans more toward A but your second one leans more toward C. I would suggest sticking with A, as I've heard that colleges don't necessarily like the "pick your own topic" option; not sure if that's 100% true though. I would say incorporate how these aspects of yourself would help you succeed in college so that you have a more solid answer for the first question, but besides that I think it's very concise and well-written.
Hope I helped! If you could give me feedback on any of mine, I'd greatly appreciate it :)
It sounds like you are answering C, but I believe the "Who are you" questions is going to be used alot. Instead there was one part of your essay I really liked: My belief that the greatest good occurs when the greatest number benefit has led me to be a great leader as my own sacrifice may be the key to success of my team as a whole. As my brother and I have learned growing up, it's best for us to work together. I have taken the experience of learning how to share a room together and applied it to the outside world
With that I think you should change your question from "who are you" to "do you share your a room or not" or "Do you have your own room" It's unique, it will enable the college to get to know you a bit better and I think the part about how the experience of sharing a room can be applied to outside life was really clever. Also you can easily talk about your family and lifestyle as well with this question
If your going for question C then it has to be something that requires a little thinking because they are asking you to explain you. You are unique and different from everyone else so don't use a question that enables you to look like everyone else.
I like it ,but it does sound like other essays I have read, I don't really know your personality from this
