Brown Essays - "Why Brown?", "Why your major?", and "What don't you know?"

Please harshly critique. <3
They're not donnne, for sure. I wrote a lot, mainly because I wrote free form so I could get the ideas out. I will be working on cutting them down and making them more coherent. Just thought while I'm doing that I could also get feedback.

Thanks!

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1) Why does Brown appeal to you as a college option? Tell us more about your interest in Brown. Who or what influenced your decision to apply?

1000 characters or less
1412 characters used

I have set a very high bar for my future school. I want a place that not only will stimulate my mind, but also provide me with endless opportunities and a chance to grow in character.

While I realize college is meant to stimulate the mind in general, I believe experiencing it at Brown University will bring it to the next level. The cross-disciplinary teaching and concentration element within its curriculum is (adjective). I believe the exploration of arts is crucial to cognitive maturity and the fact that Brown encourages students to pursue art regardless of intention to major would be something I'd be sure to benefit from.

Brown has a range of opportunities which cater to my diverse interests. As a student I would without doubt tryout for Women's Club Soccer, audition for Bear Necessities, and join the Ballroom Dance Team. I would like to build a Romanian club and contribute my heritage to the society on campus.

My high expectations do not end with a list of the preferred features of my dream school; I never forget to give myself high expectations as well. Just like Brown, I believe that being an individual is impossible without a community; that is why I choose to make cooperation, consideration of others, and exploration of diverse perspectives common practices in my life. Brown's attitude parallels mine and confirms that it is the right place for me to meet all my expectations and grow.

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2)Why are you drawn to the academic fields you indicated above? (I listed International Relations and East Asian Studies.)
1000 characters or less
1078 characters used

I'm a first generation American with a proud Romanian heritage. My family, both here in America and in Romania, has taught me the language and habits and love for this culture. I have been fortunate to live and experience a life in both the American and Romanian cultures.

When I was seven I discovered Japan and became captivated by its culture. I wanted to understand their culture so much that I looked for ways to begin learning the language. Shortly after my discovery, my awareness of other cultures began to cultivate as well.

As time passed, I had the opportunity to travel to countries other than Romania - Turkey, France, Germany, and the Netherlands. What I realized though, was that I didn't know enough to be able to understand the people past the appearances of dress, architecture, and habit.

In searching for a path in life that would give me the tools tools to not only better understand Japan but any other culture, I fell in love with International Relations. I know this major will fulfill my fascination with the difference in cultures and provide me a foundation to explore more.

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3) "Education is being able to differentiate between what you do know and what you don't." What don't you know?
500 words or less

I don't know what I don't know.
My mother puts it this way: knowledge is a circle surrounded by question marks. The circle represents your knowledge. The question marks represent what your knowledge allows you to ask. Only a certain amount of question marks fit around the circle. With every question that is asked and with every answer that is found, knowledge expands and the circle grows. As the new circle of knowledge grows, so does the number of questions which become available to ask. The cycle repeats.

This analogy teaches that without knowledge, the right questions to ask are not perceptible. Furthermore, the existence of these questions are ungraspable.
What I do know inside of my own circle of knowledge is that the more questions I answer, the more information becomes available to me.

It can be related to a child's first encounter with the alphabet. A teacher writes the letter 'A' on a classroom board and names it for what it is. The child stares at it and then wonders, "Well how many others of those are there?" Once the child learns the rest of the letters, a discovery occurs, which in time is accompanied by another discovery, and another: The letters can be combined to form words, and the words can be combined into phrases; the phrases into paragraphs; the paragraphs into books - until suddenly all the wealth of knowledge that comes from being literate is suddenly at the child's fingertips, where originally not even a single letter brought recognition.

This is why learning is so important. One question leads to another, and soon before anyone has realized it, life has grown, a person's knowledge has grown, but there are still more questions to be answered. (You can't learn everything.)

In short, I don't know what I don't know, but as I learn more, I will.

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good essays, i thought they were well written
here's a critique on the first.


maturity, and the fact that Brown


would without a doubt


maybe use "found" instead of "build"


you could either put: "I expect myself to perform highly as well" or just cut out the whole entire sentence.


just say "grow" and cut "meet all my expectations and"

hope that helped a bit!