Comments and criticism welcome! Thanks!
Please tell us more about your interest in Brown: Why does Brown appeal to you as a college option? Who or what has influenced your decision to apply? [1000 chars]
"That government is best which governs least," proclaimed Transcendentalist Henry David Thoreau. I absolutely agree with this bold statement; while researching various universities, I have found that Brown is the perfect fit for me. This is where possibilities are endless and "governing" is the last thing the faculty will do. I can definitely thrive in a liberal learning environment and look forward to developing my own core curriculum. Furthermore, the applied mathematics department has fascinated me. D.U.G. (Department Undergraduate Group) sessions and weekly seminars with international speakers are events I anticipate to attend. Combining mathematics and economics, Brown University will teach me proper analytical and critical thinking skills enabling me to reach my fullest potential. Without a doubt, an education at this prestigious institution will be a step in the right direction towards my goal of solving our financial quandaries with the powers of economics and mathematics.
This is concise and neat, but I think showing more passion on your part might help. Also, since it is 1000 chars, you might want to add something more about what appealed to you. Go through their mission statement and what they value the most in their students
I don't know but placing politics in an essay may not go well with college admissions officers. Well at least that is what my guidance counselor at my high school had told me during my Junior and Senior year in high school that it might turn college admissions officer off. As I am in my Freshman year of college, I have gotten accepted to several major colleges and did not have to use any political messages into my essay.
thanks for the quick replies. my intention is not to put politics but i was referring to that quote because brown's mission is to allow students to choose their own courses (ie the counselors not restricting them to what courses they can take). is that a bad reference? any other way to connect the liberal learning idea?
any other suggestions?
Include " I am certain that the students and staff will contribute to my personal growth at Brown University"
The essay is disjointed. It would be good if the Thoreau quote had more application that just to that remark about them governing least. The fact that they govern least just does not seem to be a very impressive reason to want to go there! What if you made the Thoreau quote your theme, and connect it to economics and mathematics. Also, don't specify transcendentalist poet, because he was much more than that, so it sort of reduces him, and besides, everyone already knows who he is. :-) kind regards