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BROWN Supplements (why brown, why area of study you indicated before, how community shaped you)

Manal99 1 / 3  
Dec 31, 2017   #1

brown short essays

#Why brown curriculum?

With Brown's open curriculum, I will have a unique experience carved in mind. I would not just learn to be an engineer, but also a manager, designer, and writer in courses such as Managerial Decision Making, DesignStudio, and Writing Science. In addition, through WISE (Women In Science and Engineering) program, which helps women in their STEM academic curriculum, Brown would help me to raise my head up to be an Engineer, even if I am from a minority in the department. This is the curriculum I wish to be associated with: Everybody challenges barriers to succeed

#Why are you drawn to the area(s) of study you indicated earlier in this application? If you are "undecided" or not sure which Brown concentrations match your interests, consider describing more generally the academic topics or modes of thought that engage you currently. (150 word limit)

Engineering is the intersection of my passions: Mechanics, Physics, and Mathematics. A revitalizing source, Engineering is a source of innovation that benefits the humanity. With the technology of fuel cells, Engineering has made it easy for people to generate electricity with only wastes. Engineering will help me protect the world's natural resources by developing specialized fuel cells that can convert any waste to Electricity. I want to harness the opportunities Brown offers to highlight wastes as a prominent source of renewable energy. Through Advanced Engineering Mechanics and Fuels, Energy, and the Environment classes offered in Chemical and Mechanical programs, I will be able to develop machines that qualify for waste processing. Aside from courses, I hope to join Brown Building Society, which will help me interact with diverse people and understand their motivations to change the prejudice against wastes. At Brown, I believe I will make wastes worth as gold.

#tell us where you have lived - and for how long - since you were born; whether you've always lived in the same place, or perhaps in a variety of places. (100 word limit)

I spent the 17 years of my life fascinated each day by the Pyramids at Giza. Although I see the same pyramids and sphinx every day whenever I open my window, I have never gotten bored by such impressive sight. From these prominent structures, I received an unusual admiration for my ancestors and insistence to work and achieve success as they have.

#We all exist within communities or groups of various sizes, origins, and purposes; pick one and tell us why it is important to you, and how it has shaped you. (100 word limit)

I am proud to be a part of united Egyptian community that is based on the concept of brotherhood and sisterhood: Everyone helps the other without a purpose. My bond with my neighbors is not limited to Salutes, but to the fact that we lean on each other's shoulders on adversities. For instance, When I knew that my orphan neighbors had an accident that caused them a permanent paralysis, I decided to stay with them during that period and take care of their meals and medicines dosages. Thanks to my community that taught me principles I am appreciative to have.

jspallina18 1 / 1 2  
Dec 31, 2017   #2
Your essays are good! I'm going to give you some feedback on the final essay because it seems to be weaker than the others.

... other's shoulders on adversitiesin the face of adversity

Thanks to my community that taught ...
This sentence does not flow well and I suggest something more along the lines of "I will always be indebted to my community for instilling me with strong principles."
OP Manal99 1 / 3  
Dec 31, 2017   #3
@jspallina 18 Thank you so much for your feedback.Do you think the "why brown ?" strong enough or I should focus more on WISE?
Holt [Contributor] - / 8,584 2489  
Dec 31, 2017   #4
Manal, in the first prompt, you delivered a good response but you left a sentence incomplete at the end because you did not place a period to show the end of the presentation of that line. Since the sentence seems to be open ended, it doesn't make much sense and does not tie in effectively with your first few sentences. Therefore, it will not be a loss to your response if you just delete that ill positioned sentence from your response.

In the second prompt, I have a sense of generic presentation as I read your statement. In order to make this more impressive, you need to revise it in such a manner that allows you think outside of the box. Tell the reviewer what kind of breakthrough you want to make in the field of fuel cells. It doesn't matter how outrageous the idea is (after all all breakthrough innovations came from crazy ideas turned into a reality) because this shows the reviewer that you have a career objective in mind and, you just might fully utilize the university offerings in your field of study so that you can graduate with a workable thesis project. It shows that you are serious about the course you will be taking.

Try to better develop your response to the third prompt. Since you lived in the same place for 17 years, you can create a more interesting essay by discussing what your earliest childhood memory of living in Giza is, what memorable experiences you have had that helped shaped your character, and then close with the reason why you would never tire of living there. You have 100 words allotted, try to use at least 50 of that in the response.

For the last prompt, why don't you identify your ethnicity as part of the Egyptian community instead? That way you can better explain why being part of this ethnic group is important to you and how the beliefs of this ethnicity sets you apart from the others in Egypt. You have to aim to paint an idea of the sort of community that you come from and if this has been a hindrance or an asset to your development as a person and as a student.

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