MIT Pleasure Essay
We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do for the pleasure of it. (*)(100 words or fewer)
After about 3 months of research and persuasion, I finally convinced my parents to allow me to build my own desktop computer in the winter of 2010. Since then, my computer has been one of my greatest sources not only for information, but also for entertainment. Whether I'm browsing YouTube, playing competitive Team Fortress 2 matches with my team, editing recorded clips of those matches into movies, or simply talking with friends on AIM, I have found that when I have the time to do something just for enjoyment, I can always find that enjoyment in front of my computer.
What is your take on this essay? Still too listy? Or is it good?
I also have the beginning part of this essay, if anyone has suggestions as to how to change the beginning or if i should dive into the essay, don't hesitate to respond.
What attribute of your personality are you most proud of, and how has it impacted your life so far? This could be your creativity, effective leadership, sense of humor, integrity, or anything else you'd like to tell us about. (*) (200-250 words)
For 3 years, I did nothing but fall during my attempts to snowboard down the bunny hill at Blue Mountain in the Poconos. But I never quit and went back to skiing, even though I knew I was a good skier. And it paid off; as I write this essay, I am on the plane to Colorado to board down the un-groomed terrain of Copper Mountain.
for the first essay, it seems as if you find pleasure in playing games/surfing the web/social networking rather than building a desktop. that is, bulding a desktop was a one-time thing and now you simply use it for the aforementioned entertainment options.
perhaps you should find a topic less casual.
