Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 2


Bully @Ambush Corner; UT Austin/Issue of Importance


Blastofftomars1 3 / 7 1  
Nov 29, 2012   #1
Choose an issue of importance to you-the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope-and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

Constructive criticism and grammar corrections please, and thank U

"Often the right path is the one that may be hardest for you to follow..." Karen Mueller Coombs, Bully at A person will encounter many predicaments that they must try to find a way out of. Confronting the problem is the only way that will resolve the conflict, but one does not have to face the problem alone. Some people have voices that they use to seek help when struggling, but there are also those wallflowers that want someone to help them, but cannot find their voices to use to seek attention. Bullying, an uprising issue among young children, teenagers, and adults; a problem in which people don't report, or seek help. Bullying is a very harmful act to a human, it degrades a person, as well as mentally and physically abuses a person. In the past, news all over the nations has covered teen suicide as a result of bullying. Famous cases such as Phoebe Prince, who was bullied by two groups of people over her brief relationships with their boyfriends, caused America to open their eyes to see that bullying is an uprising issue among people in the United States. Now America has taken more serious actions to respond to bullying in the present, than it did in the past.

We take a look at the past, bullying was not a big deal. It was sought as teasing and jovial, especially in little children. The kids at my preschool saw me as different because I was Asian. They always tried to mock my eyes by pulling their eyes back, whenever I tried to join a group at recess, I was often rejected. When I finally made friends, they treated me horribly by making me do things that I didn't want to do. They told me to give them my crackers, when I didn't do as they commanded; they threw dirt at me during recess. I was rejected again; leaving me to believe that blending in is the best solution because standing out causes trouble. I became ashamed of my Asian heritage, started to have low self-esteem, and always felt lonely. My past started to affect me in the future; I did not try to approach people and socialize, my self-confidence was non-existent. It took twelve years to overcome the past that haunted me, and to develop a newfound confidence that would allow me to believe in myself. I realized that I had not been living my life, instead I was hiding from fear. My friends, teammates, and teachers helped me find my identity. They counseled me when I was confused, and allowed me to be myself. I am no longer afraid of being Asian, instead I am proud because there are not much Asians in Longview, Texas.

People aren't as fortunate as me because sometimes they fight battles alone. They don't have someone to lift them up when they are struggling. I am happy knowing that they have affirmative taken actions to stop bullying. The news has alert parents about bullying, especially after the Phoebe Prince's case.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Nov 30, 2012   #2
You have very good writing skills. It's written very well : )

Only thing is that I prefer if you elaborate a bit more on the role played by your close ones as to help you rid of this problem. ... It's better if you can cite an incident for the reader to understand how those people came in your aid.

Because you give more emphasis on the role that others (may be the system / authorities and the like) can play in this regard without letting an individual to fight back alone, I think this fact should be more emphasized.

Overall, a very good job!

The news has alerted parents about bullying, especially after the Phoebe Prince's case.


Home / Undergraduate / Bully @Ambush Corner; UT Austin/Issue of Importance
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳