'get calls from the hospital in the morning' - John's Hopkins Supplement essay

Johns Hopkins offers 50 majors across the schools of Arts and Sciences and Engineering. On this application, we ask you to identify one or two that you might like to pursue here. Why did you choose the way you did? If you are undecided, why didn't you choose? (If any past courses or academic experiences influenced your decision, you may include them in ? I'm at 262 words so where should I cut down and I didn't really end properly so any advice would be greatly appreciated

As a child every morning was routine, my uncle and my grandpa would both get calls from the hospital in the morning to rush into work at the strangest hours. After their immediate arrival at work they were filled with stress and anxiety as patients expressed their pains and concerns for life. They'd come home late at night with an emotionless look on their face and my grandma and aunt would tower on more burdens upon their shoulders. As a child I always wondered how or why they handled all this stress. But as I grew up I realized they had a purpose much greater than that of an average citizen, for they gave up a normal life to save the lives of others. Now it is my passion to pursue sciences, particularly biology and become a cardiovascular surgeon.

Growing up I surrounded myself with activities that reflected my desire in biology and saving ailing lives. Not only was it curiosity of the field but also the instinct to try and follow the same path as my family roots. As the years progress I started to develop an interest in science and took active participation in it. Throughout high school I did research through Rutgers and looked at the genetic composure of certain organisms which furthered my interest in sciences as I got a broader look at the field. During junior year I got the opportunity to shadow my uncle and grandpa in a hospital in which I was able to see what I wanted to do in the future first hand.

There are some grammatical errors in your essay

E.g Growing up I surrounded myself with activities that reflected my desire in biology and saving ailing lives not in the same verb as the rest of the sentence.

Your essay also has some contradictory statements-every morning was routine,yet your grandpa and uncle would go to work at the strangest of hours?

Also I think the ending is very abrupt.

Try to improve on these things. Otherwise the topic is good!

Yeah do you see anything I can get rid of to help the ending

I think you can further tell them about how you think JHU can benefit you...by doing so you can cut down the lines in describing your uncle and grandpa's working lives.

Overall you have demonstrated some solid evidences about your passion for biology. I wish you all the best for your application.
Could you please help me with my JHU supplement essay?
thanks :)