I usually fall in love with things I consider easy which I find myself good at. This explains how I can be a writer, an artist, or a dancer.
^Ouch. In your first sentence, do you find yourself good at falling in love with things are things that you consider easy. It would be worrying if things you found easy were things you were not good at. Also, are you complimenting your writing, artistic and dancing skills? Please. Not impressive
I am fond of drawing, because my hand skillfully creates magic between the pen and paper that compels them to work together and bring out the best of what could be accomplished by these two. I can see myself in whatever I draw, whether it's a girl, a horse, or simply abstract art that is not understood by anyone but me.
^Mmmm. The first sentence needs revision in terms of what you are trying to say. The use of language devices has not been used effectively in my opinion.
You can see yourself in a drawing of a horse? And we understand that abstract art may only be understood by you.
I love writing, because I can better express myself on paper as I can rephrase my message a thousand times in my head before I get out my final piece. I can hear myself speak, scream, and whisper in my writings, sometimes all at once.
^Very lame. The first sentence...like what?
Second sentence. Whisper and scream juxtapose each other. You can not possibly hear it all at once.
I cannot live without dancing, because I cannot stop myself from moving collaboratively with the beats of the exciting tunes of music. I can feel myself through observing my moves working and cooperating with sounds and jingles.
However, that is not why I desire to be an engineer or why I care passionately about science. Science
different. Science challenged me, and I was up for it.This should be in present tense.
I fell in love with something that I actually found challenging.
^Well, I must say, that drawing pictures of oneself, writing 'messages', and dancing to music, rarely are the reasons that people 'desire' to be an engineer or care about science.
I am fond of math, because a simple unsolved equation invites me to crack it. I can see myself in whatever I solve; I see a person with problems in her life that is ready to be cracked.
^Poor simile here.When it's free-time at school, I tend to ask my teacher for math questions to compete with my friends in solving them.
^This may be true. But do realize that CalTech try to find students with a sense of humor, which suggests that it tries to find students that are not constantly being a nerd.
I love physics, because it provided me with answers that I found illogical in the most logical way.
I can hear myself excited and cheerful about discovering a new answer to a question I have always had. I skip my way to class when we have physics when most of my classmates watch me, surprised.
^Do you skip. Every. Single. Day?
Trust me, I think most people would find that type of behaviour surprising. The first hundred times, people may get used to it. By the hundred and first, surprise will be renewed.
I cannot live without chemistry, because it is subject that deals with mystery and predictions made by scientists who might have been a lot like me in one stage of their lives.
^Can not live without chemistry? Please.
Are you suggesting that these scientists may have been like you, because they skip to class, and dance, write, and produce art? I do not think that any scientist did all of these things.I feel myself
in chemistry, and I feel that chemistry is my path to success in my life.
^Why would you feel yourself in a chemistry lesson?
I decided to take my relationship with math, physics, and chemistry to the next level by choosing to major in chemical engineering. I fell in love with chemical engineering because I can see, hear, and feel myself a chemical engineer.
*Wow. This is not a strong essay. You in NO WAY, tell us as readers, how you EXPRESS YOUR INTEREST in ANY OF THESE SUBJECTS.
Quite frankly, all the stuff about dancing, writing etc, is not even remotely relevant to the essay prompt, yet alone your essay.
Your writing style attempts to be something, but in fact, turns out to be nothing. Stick with simple phrases and sentences than trying to find a flowery one which instead, has a pungent smell (yes. This is an example of poor wordplay, something that I found quite common in your essay)