Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 8


Calvin and Hobbes influenced my life - Common App


Reach 2 / 15  
Dec 28, 2009   #1
Please help me make this essay more coherent. I don't think the meaning of my essay is really understandable...

Describe a character in fiction, a historical figure, or a creative work (as in art, music, science, etc.) that has had an influence on you, and explain that influence.

When I was ten, I picked up The Days are Just Packed by Bill Watterson, my first Calvin and Hobbes comic strip anthology. The title and the golden-brown cover stood out amongst the endless drab shelves of the used bookstore like a piece of hard candy among peanuts. I bought it, took it home, and immediately became lost in Calvin's imaginative world: a world where there are no lasting consequences, where it is possible to genuinely forget about your troubles, where Santa exists and where there is a stuffed tiger named Hobbes doubling as imaginary friend and as warden. I was enraptured by Calvin's naïve curiosity, enthralled by Hobbes' silly shrewdness. When I reached the end of the book, I was bewildered. I did not care that Calvin was only a drawing on a piece of paper. To me, he was real.

My mom had always imposed a time limit on television and my Game Boy Color when I was young. "They destroy your eyes and make you silly," replied Mom when I asked her why. "Go read a book." She loved books; they were on the same tier to her ("Brain Food") as salmon, carrots, and broccoli. So every night I would curl up in my spot on the living room couch and read my Calvin and Hobbes books until bedtime. It was sort of like I was creating my imaginary world. Growing up in a traditional Chinese family, I was reminded every day by my parents that they did not go to college so that I could. To be a big businessman, or an engineer, or a doctor, they said. I was hard pressed to prove to my parents that their investment in my education was not going to waste, so naturally I was nothing at all like the wild Calvin in more ways than one. He was bratty and hyperactive while I was quiet and well behaved; he was using his imagination to craft worlds and fantasies while I was storing mine in a dusty compartment in the back of my mind.

But reading Calvin and Hobbes made me realize just how important it was for me to appreciate myself. Calvin was not named after John Calvin, the theologian and philosopher famous for his theory of predestination, on accident. Calvin's consistent gripe is that the troublesome acts he commits are outside of his control; he is simply a product of his environment, a victim of circumstances. He struggles to combat this situation by creating elaborate fantasy worlds to escape to, because Calvin's actual intellect is severely underrated by everyone in his life except his imaginary friend Hobbes. His parents, classmates, and teacher see him as a troublemaker with an affinity for daydreaming; I saw him as an incredibly intelligent and compassionate kid who causes trouble to break free of his "predestination." And when that fails, he crafts his own world where he gets to decide what he is to do. Yet Calvin has also set his own course in his tangible life as well. In one strip, Calvin's mother is seated at the coffee table reading the newspaper when Calvin walks past her and quotes Paul Gauguin. "'Whence do we come? What are we? Where are we going?' Well, I don't know about anyone else, but I came from my room. I'm a kid with big plan, and I'm going outside! See ya later!" His mother is visibly shocked until Calvin adds, "Say, who the heck is Paul Gauguin anyway?"

Calvin was still in the process of discovering the world around him. Like me, he still has much to learn about everything. But he also holds the determination to assert his individuality. Calvin inspired me to appreciate my own abilities and understand that it was up to me to decide my future. Since the day I picked up my first Calvin and Hobbes anthology, I've read every single strip of Calvin and Hobbes through the anthologies countless times. Those books are the only childhood items I've kept, and they have their permanent spot on my computer desk. They serve as a reminder to me that, like a certain precocious six year old, I am fully ready to determine my own course in life.
LewisClark13 1 / 9  
Dec 28, 2009   #2
Hi! I just didn't understand this sentence "I was reminded every day by my parents that they did not go to college so that I could" You could what? I feel like it's incomplete.

I think that the essay is good, but it needs a paragraph of inner reflection or a paragraph to really unite how Calvin+Hobbes influenced you. For example, you could insert something about how you were able to grow (creatively or become more hyperness) because of C+H. Maybe you should shorten the 2nd paragraph to a couple sentences and latch it to the first
OP Reach 2 / 15  
Dec 28, 2009   #3
They didn't go to college so I could go to college, that's what I meant.
OP Reach 2 / 15  
Dec 29, 2009   #4
BUMP I really need to get some more peer editing, thanks.
jpg_76 3 / 18  
Dec 29, 2009   #5
i think the part about your parents is unnecessary because its not really supposed to be about parental influence and also because your reason for furthering your education shouldn't be because you want to "pay back" your parents. So like lewisclark13 said you can just keep the sentence in the second para where you compare calvin and yourself and add it to your first but also make sure it blends in.

Calvin inspires me to appreciate my own abilities and understand that it was up to me to I decide my future.

you point out that calvin appeals to you because he tries to break out of his predestination so maybe you want to talk about how you do that or talk about your own struggles--just to shine the light more brightly on you than calvin

calvin seems pretty cool and overall your essay is really good

can you read mine (the one at the bottom)

thanks and good luck :)
OP Reach 2 / 15  
Dec 29, 2009   #6
"i think the part about your parents is unnecessary because its not really supposed to be about parental influence and also because your reason for furthering your education shouldn't be because you want to "pay back" your parents. you point out that calvin appeals to you because he tries to break out of his predestination so maybe you want to talk about how you do that or talk about your own struggles--just to shine the light more brightly on you than calvin"

That's exactly my point...I talk about how my parents expect me to make a bunch of money by going to college, but how Calvin inspires me to do what I want to do, not what my parents want me to do.
jpg_76 3 / 18  
Dec 29, 2009   #7
haha i know what you mean (Asian parents!)...

but you don't really say that you, yourself, do anything to break that wall of expectations because you say that your nothing like calvin

so i would suggest that you mention something that you want to do that is not necessarily what your parents want (maybe)

well these are just my opinions
ekfoong 10 / 46  
Dec 29, 2009   #8
She loved books; they were on the same tier to her ("Brain Food") as salmon, carrots, and broccoli.

I liked this sentence a lot :)

my parents that they did not go to college so that I could.

contrary to Lewis Clark I believe it is fine. Both subjects ("they" and "I") are modifying the single object of "going to college"

he was using his imagination to craft worlds and fantasies while I was storing mine in a dusty compartment in the back of my mind.

Maybe it's me but I do not like the last phrase. I think "storing" implies the negative connotation of withholding. Perhaps "saving" or another synonym will communicate that you will express your stoic creativity in the future at the opportune moment. Sorry i'm really picky about connotation :)

**I find that your third paragraph talks too much about calvin. I understand you want to create parallelism between he and you to highlight your character... however I feel like i'm learning more about Calvin! I want to know more about you! My advise would be to compound the initial sentences of the paragraph. With that newly established brevity you will naturally find that YOU need to elaborate more about yourself in order to maintain that dualism with calvin. If that makes sense :)

Since the day I picked up my first Calvin and Hobbes anthology, I've read every single strip of Calvin and Hobbes through the anthologies countless times.

anthology is such a distinct word, && the proximity between the two anthologies kind of irks me :)

I like the Calvin and Hobbes throwback. I too loved C&H I even have a watterson signed copy (not the printed signed - actual pen) :] You have a great foundation. I want to see it revised!


Home / Undergraduate / Calvin and Hobbes influenced my life - Common App
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳