Hey!
Here's the prompt: Describe the world you come from - for example your school, community, or family - and explain how it has affected your dreams and aspirations.
I basically need to know if this essay actually fits the prompt, and I probably have a lot of mechanics errors...so here goes nothing (I am horrible at writing by the way)...
Thanks for any responses in advance!
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How I came to become a Nature "Freak"
Drenched in sweat, we sat on a mountain peak mesmerized by the beauty of the picturesque sunrise before us. Forget the lack of sleep and the strenuous hike; all that mattered was the scene of sheer awe that we were experiencing at that instant. This is the power of nature. It has the ability to draw one in, make them fall in love, and affect their everyday lives. When I think back to how I came to become a nature "freak," I am able to paint a more vivid picture of the major influences that have contributed to my life aspirations.
From the time I was a mere first grader, I was lucky enough to have been involved in the Boy Scouts (or as the first five years were called, Cub Scouts). The organization taught me to cherish and give back to the world around me, whether it be in my community or in the environment. Policies like "leave no trace" and the beginnings of environmental conservation soon instilled themselves into my daily routines. Besides the teachings, Boy Scouts also introduced me to the first of many outdoors oriented lifelong hobbies - hiking.
Hiking presented a simple, yet surprisingly meaningful idea to my nine year old self, that working toward a goal isn't always easy, but the rewards far outnumber the hardships. When I finally came to grasp this concept years later, it allowed me to focus on the moment and my own successes, rather than getting caught up in the past's hardships or troubles. I used this idea to form the basis of not only my work ethic, but to find out where my real passions lie, and thus to start my trek towards them.
Hiking, along with surfing and SCUBA diving, helped me realize one of my passions: the natural environment. Nature provides me with a source of relaxation, and inspiration to understand more about it. I became addicted to anything environmentally oriented, and in order to create a basic skill set, I soon started striving to get ahead in the sciences and mathematics (thankfully I had a gift in those areas). I had found what I was passionate about; the only thing left was to implement a goal.
To this day, everything and anything about nature fascinates me. This is where there lies a mountain waiting to be conquered. The current state of society has thrown the environment in the back seat, allowing the ecosystem to slowly dissipate while I watch. I aspire to help slow or resolve this ignorance, and to provide for the same opportunities to the future generations regarding nature as I had. I believe through engineering I can help provide for a cause bigger than myself, and affect people who don't know or care who I am or what I do. Financial success and acclaim aside, the fulfillment of this dream would be on par with climbing Mt. Everest. In my eyes, to be able to use my passion to create a better world, even if only slightly better, is worth the long and rough hike, no matter what.
To this day, everything and anything about nature fascinates me. ---- I like this essay a lot, but right here it gets redundant. I think you should move on to a new way of talking about it as you begin this conclusion paragraph.
I guess I think the mention of cub scouts is an unnecessary detail... yet, I sort of like it! I think it gives some distinction to your essay and way of thinking.
This is where there lies a mountain waiting to be conquered. The current state of society has thrown the environment in the back seat, allowing the ecosystem to slowly dissipate while I watch. ---okay, awesome... this is a good conclusion, just change the first sentence of the conclusion para.
I aspire to help slow or resolve this ignorance, and to provide for the same opportunities to the future generations regarding nature as I had. --- you can probably write this sentence in a clearer, better way.
Nice job!! I like it...
