Hi there, I would appreciate all feedback possible for my answer to this particular question on my AIF. Thank you in advance.
AIF Waterloo APPLICATION
Question: Please tell us about your educational goals, your interest in your chosen program(s), and your reasons for applying to the University of Waterloo. If you have applied to more than one program please discuss your interest in each program.
One of the many reasons I applied is because numerous successful Canadian entrepreneurs in leading edge technologies graduated from Waterloo. As a kid, I was fascinated by how things worked and were made. Because of my life-long curiosity in various Automotive related subjects, it inspired me to become a mechanical engineer to one day make my wildest ideas into reality. Mechanical Engineering is my preferred career choice because not only do I like math and physics, but I also do lot of hands-on and mechanical experiments. One of my goals in attaining a bachelor's degree is to participate in various CO-OP programs and campus clubs. After much research into mechanical engineering programs, Waterloo's curriculum presented itself to be the best fit with my desired educational goals because it is closely related to the Automobile industry and its advanced CO-OP programs.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 10,377 3372
Your first half is too much of a dreamer statement. There is no realistic educational goal presented in that section. Bring that part down to reality by stating an actual academic goal or goals. Do not say the university program meets your desired educational goals when you have not presented any solid, realistic, and achievable reasons for your education. Making your wildest ideas into a reality is not an academic goal, that is a flight of fancy. The reviewer will find this uninformative and not really indicative of you being prepared for college. Rather, you will come across as a dreamer without a true direction in life.
When you're talking about future goals, you need to provide a more solid educational and working experience background to the reviewer.