Is this ok? meaning enough for a personal essay on Common App. they only asked for a 250 words on a topic of my choose
When my family first arrived in this country from Cape Verde, West Africa, I was only 10 years old. My father left us when I was 8, leaving my mother to raise five kids single handedly. We faced many obstacles as a family; we knew little to no English, money was a problem and many of my siblings had difficulties adjusting to the new culture. Still, I knew early on that I was going to overcome all the problems we faced and somehow learn to succeed. Growing up in a family where no one has succeeded beyond high school, it has always been my motivation to be the first member of my family to attend college.
Sitting back now and viewing the struggles from far, I can see more clearly the effects those dynamic years have had. Life, I have learned, is a cause-and-effect relationship. It involves taking chances and risking security in hopes of stumbling upon something great. I have come to gracefully accept life's challenges with an open mind, and though at times unsure of my options, I remain confident and keep believing. In dedicating myself to my family and school, I have set goals that I will do anything to accomplish. I am an extremely determined individual, and your university will help me take the next step in climbing the ladder of success. I strongly believe that I deserve a chance to be the first in my family to go to college.
Great story, I hope you have lots of success!! See how I separated the paragraphs differently... now it is 3 paragraphs:
When my family first arrived in this country from Cape Verde, West Africa, I was only 10 years old. My father left us when I was 8, leaving my mother to raise five kids single handedly. We faced many obstacles as a family; we knew little to no English, money was a problem and many of my siblings had difficulties adjusting to the new culture. Still, I knew early on that I was going to overcome all the problems we faced and somehow learn to succeed. Growing up in a family where no one has succeeded beyond high school, it has always been my motivation to be the first member of my family to attend college.
Reflecting now on those struggles, I can see more clearly the effects those dynamic years have had. Life, I have learned, is a cause-and-effect relationship. It involves taking chances and risking security in hopes of stumbling upon something great. I have come to gracefully accept life's challenges with an open mind, and though at times unsure of my options, I remain confident and keep believing.
In dedicating myself to my family and school, I have set goals that I will do anything to accomplish. I am an extremely determined individual, and your university will help me take the next step in climbing the ladder of success. I strongly believe that I deserve a chance to be the first in my family to go to college, and I hope to influence make a meaningful contribution at [name of school].
