Feel free to critic my essay. Please and Thank You.
Topic:The CARE Summer Bridge Program is an alternative admission program for first-generation college students, and students who are disadvantaged by economic, cultural or educational circumstances. This high school to college bridge program is designed to help ease students' adjustment to college life and build a foundation for academic success. Write an essay indicating why you would like to participate in the CARE summer Bridge Program.
My Essay:
As a young girl the thought of attending college was as foreign to me as French. In the seventh grade, I entered Educational Talent Search; although none in my family attended college, the staff opened my eyes to the possibility of attend college. The reason I desire to participate in the CARE Summer Bridge Program is to better prepare myself academically, physically, and emotionally for success at Florida State University. It is currently the only way I can attend, as I did not meet the ACT score requirements by a point in the English sub test. I am retaking the ACT's. To attend and graduate from FSU is my dream; the Summer Bridge Program can provide me the opportunity to set a strong foundation for my studies there.
Academically, it takes more for me to fully grasp new concepts. My 3.63 grade point average does not reflect the effort I invest in my work. English is my second language and often I do not test well because of it. I have to study harder and spend extra time reviewing my work; none-the-less, this does not stop me from holding high scholarly expectations for myself. I was in English for Speaker of Other Language classes, until the second grade, when after much studying I proudly tested out of them. It was my desire to remain in the classroom and learn what my peers were learning. By doing so, I had to work harder but it was worth it. Hard work has been taught to me by my mom, who raised my brother and me alone and taught us the value of an education. The SBP Academic Support Services will give me much needed assistance in test-taking skills.
Physically, it will be difficult to move away from my family and small town because of my bonds with them. The opportunity to live in campus housing with other SBP participants will make the transition easier. The Campus Survival Skills will likewise be a tremendous help in overcoming challenges. Most of all the peer mentoring provided by SBP as well as being with other students who come from similar backgrounds will assist me in feeling at home on campus.
Leaving to college is going to be different and emotionally I need to be prepared by the intimidating unknown. Having never been away from home and my familiar small town, it will take some adjusting to college life. I am excited about starting FSU the Advocacy and Support Services provided by the C.A.R.E. staff will help me get acquainted with personal and accustomed to the school. There was a time that the notion that i would attend college was foreign to me as French; however, with hard work it has become obtainable. As far as French goes I am now trilingual, taking two years of French in high school and practice it all the time.
... although none in my family attended college, the staff opened my eyes to the possibility of attending college.
Leaving home to go to college is going to be different, and emotionally I need to be prepared for the intimidating unknown.
I am excited about starting FSU, the Advocacy and Support Services provided by the C.A.R.E. staff will help me get acquainted with personnel and accustomed to the school.
There was a time that the notion that I would attend college was as foreign to me as French; however, with hard work it has become obtainable.
As far as French goes I am now trilingual, taking two years of French in high school and practicing it all the time.
I like the exciting surprise at the end! Good luck in school and have fun!
:)
