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My career goal is to become a medical scientist and Mayo Clinic College - Summer Research Fellowship

brayan1996 17 / 36 5  
Nov 4, 2018   #1

Research Fellowship Essay

Hi, can someone please help me edit this essay for a summer research fellowship. It is the personal statement that I am planing on submitting. I really would like to know how the essay stands up to now, in terms of language structure/ syntax / grammar. Story flow and overall appearance. Your help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance.

Living in poverty for most of my childhood, has been a pivotal factor in stimulating my interest for a career as a medical physician. Since a very young age, I struggled seeing how my mother battled the dreadful effects of Diabetes. Seeing her struggle to take pills after pills to help treat such pernicious disease was mind bugling for me to witness. Part of the reason for this was because I was only five years old when she was diagnosed with the disease, while she was twenty-six. This experience has enabled me to become profusely introspective about not only Diabetes but also other types of autoimmune diseases, with the hope of one day being a pioneering contributor to a possible cure. For this reason, only a career in medicine and research would offer me the opportunity to live a life committed to learning new things related to autoimmune diseases and other pathological illnesses. My exposure to small research opportunities in my school have given me the ability to know that this is something that I truly want to do for the rest of my existence. These small research experiences have little by little indulged me in a world of intellectuality and incredible wonders.

My career goal is to become a medical scientist, and obtain both my doctorate and medical degree, in a field that would allow me to study the connectivity between autoimmune diseases and the biology of the brain. For this reason, one of my short-term goals is to obtain my Bachelor of Science degree in Psychology and Biology with a specialization in Neuroscience. It is my hope to spend approximately five years completing this degree, as I have also taken on the responsibility of completing my premedical requirements. With the fifth and extra year as an undergraduate student, I plan to enroll in some graduate school courses. This will allow me to enter graduate school better prepared for the many challenges that may await ahead. Following the completion of my undergraduate degree I plan on pursuing my PhD and spend the next six years conducting high caliber research related to brain function and its relation to autoimmune diseases. After this, I plan to take some time off with the hope of getting involved in some volunteer related to my desired specialty. The reason for this is because I would like to become better acquainted with how pathogenicity correlates with the myriad of diseases that inhabit us on a daily basis. Finally, I hope to enroll in medical school and continue the life long journey of learning the art of medicine.

My participation in the Mayo Clinic's Undergraduate Fellowship Program would help continue to foster my curiosity for science all while allowing me to broaden my professional networking skills and connections. Part of the reason for this is because only through connections and teamwork can we as future scientist probe and untangle the nuances that make problems in the world of medicine so elusive to resolve.

As a minority and first-generation student who has strong interest in pursuing a career as a medical physician, I could not think of a better program to join than Mayo Clinic's Undergraduate Fellowship Program. The Neuroscience and Immunology department at Mayo Clinic provides students the chance to gain a diverse perspective on whatever study they choose within both of these specialties. Because of this, I would like to focus in conducting research on a project that would enable me to combine Neurobiology and Immunology. Being exposed to a research opportunity of this magnitude will allow me to gain access to opportunities that my school does not have. Furthermore, this program offers students the opportunity to become better acquainted with the path towards a graduate school degree. By exposing individuals to the laboratory culture of the research group, lab meetings, and other weekly group led research activities, Mayo Clinic promises the success of minority and underrepresented students in graduate school. With the slow and unsteady increase in the number of minority students that have gone on to pursue post-undergraduate level education, I hope to contribute by committing to pursue my dreams of obtaining my doctorate and medical degree.

Mayo Clinic College of Medicine and Science is an institution renowned for its high caliber research. Having said this, this institution offers students, regardless of their financial barriers, the chance to become a part of the academic family. Being given the opportunity to conduct real life and independent scientific research is something that I would love to take part in. The reason for this is because the independence within the laboratory is what allows students to experience graduate school life at its best and most genuine way. Participating in this, once in a lifetime experience will impel me to think deeper about issues that continue to prevail in medicine and science while simultaneously seeking for solutions to these problems. This Program offers students the ability to work closely with faculty while bringing to fruition a lasting mentoring relationship that promises to keep students interested in pursuing graduate degrees, such as PhD and MD. Likewise, this program offers students the freedom to enjoy asking questions that may not have answers to. This is what helps stimulate the sense of independence that allows the student to feel comfortable and unafraid to venture into the unknown. It is this fact-driven world that I would like to be a part of; a world that fosters and values individuality while contributing to that individual's mental and intellectual maturity.

Ratudestiani 3 / 6 1  
Nov 5, 2018   #2
my interest in a career

my school has given me


Continue the lifelong journey

who has a strong interest

thank you

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