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"a career in medicine, specializing in neurosurgery" - University of Chicago


thimmaiah 4 / 5  
Dec 23, 2010   #1
Question 1. How does the University of Chicago, as you know it now, satisfy your desire for a particular kind of learning, community, and future? Please address with some specificity your own wishes and how they relate to Chicago

I plan to take up a career in medicine, specializing in neurosurgery. I was told by my peers as well as my parents, that, in order to achieve my goal, I would have to trek a long and arduous path, draining every iota of energy in my body. I knew the moment I made my choice, that, the only institutions capable of providing me with the facilities and the knowledge base, I needed in order to accomplish my task were the Ivy League universities. But that was when I realized that there was one other university out there, that had an equally brilliant medical program and that was as qualified as the Ivy League Universities if not better. That university is the University of Chicago(UoC).

I chose UoC for one specific reason. Nearly everything in the UoC is centered on academics and knowledge. It has an atmosphere that encourages in-depth study and understanding. It provides students with a basic educational foundation. It also showcases a very competitive environment where students are vying for scholarships and other forms of financial aid. Most people say the competition would get to a person and demoralize them. I suggest that I can use the competition in a productive manner by motivating myself to achieve more whilst comparing myself to my peers.

In addition to this amazing educational complex, it also has a very advanced and promising medical facility. As a student hoping to major in Biomedical engineering, I need to be able to understand how the latest advances in medical technology function. Without this specific knowledge, I would probably end up as a mediocre Biomed. engineer. UoC provides its students with state-of-the-art technologies, enabling them to be the best at what they do. It helps students, such as me; with a medical dream recognize their aptitude for medicine and helps them achieve their goals successfully.

The student community in UoC is supportive as it is competitive. Comprising of some the top minds in the country and around the world, the community helps foster a sense of academic excellence. This diversity provides various insights, not only into their intelligence, but also an insight to their cultural heritage. UoC also has an outstanding faculty, where the professors aim to make the most out of their students. The staff comprises of some of the smartest mind's in recent history such as Gary Becker(Nobel Laureate), Janet Rowley, Paul Sereno.... and so on and so forth. With such distinguished and able professors working at UoC students are assured that they are in the right hands. The teachers are also kind enough to go out of their way, to help students such as I, accomplish our goals by providing in-depth knowledge coupled with a unique approach forming a winning combination.

With UoC's guidance and fostering, I hope to evolve into a successful person both in my profession as well as my personality. With my dedication to medicine and UoC's inspirational facilities, I will definitely be able to become something more, than what I currently am; succeeding in my endeavors with flying colors.

All in all, the road I face is difficult, composed of various twists and turns, with hardship lurking behind each and every blind turn waiting to catch me unawares and drag me down to misery. The only guiding light I have is UoC with it's outstanding facilities enabling any lost soul to reach his destination.

plz help me out with this
thanks

Ender 2 / 17  
Dec 23, 2010   #2
UofC is better than UoC (it's more commonly referred to as UofC)

I knew the moment I made my choice, that, the only institutions capable of providing me with the facilities and the knowledge base, I needed in order to accomplish my task were the Ivy League universities.

Don't make this kind of statement. It makes you look narrow-minded - there are undoubtedly many non ivy institutions capable of providing you with a great education...

The last paragraph is a bit cliche, especially the last 2 lines (too melodramatic)

All in all, the road I face is difficult, composed of various twists and turns, with hardship lurking behind each and every blind turn waiting to catch me unawares and drag me down to misery. The only guiding light I have is UoC with it's outstanding facilities enabling any lost soul to reach his destination.

It's a good essay but I feel there are too many sweeping statements that could apply to many universities, and perhaps too bland. Perhaps add a more personal touch?
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,334 129  
Jan 4, 2011   #3
When I read the intro, I am left wondering why neurosurgery is your interest. It would be great if you wrote that intro in a way that tells the reader how you gained an interest in that specialization.

Also, because you are still at an early stage in your process, it would be good to focus on a few different areas of interest, not just that one. We can get to know you by seeing which medical topics and procedures appeal to you, because whatever they have in common is something that reflects your personality and intellect.

I chose UoC for one specific reason. Nearly everything in the UoC is centered on academics and knowledge. It has an atmosphere that encourages in-depth study and understanding. ----This is not a specific reason. It is something abstract that one could say about any decent school.

and so on and so forth. Let's not waste words saying 'so on and so forth.' Instead, make the paragraph meaningful by showing interest in the areas of research these people have written about. Do not just list the names. You can invest a sentence to show that you are familiar with the work one of these scholars has done in her/his field. If I were choosing a college right now, I would choose the school that has the professors whose articles have influenced me the most.

:-)


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