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'A career politician' - College Application Essay- Topic A

rsb9 1 / -  
Nov 25, 2012   #1
Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you:

On my mother's desk hangs a small, red poster inscribed with the quote, "What is right is not always popular and what is popular is not always right." I remember at a young age asking her what it meant to which she replied, "It means that being a leader isn't about being well liked, it's about standing for what is right even if you are standing alone." This unfailing morality is one of the numerous principles she has instilled in me throughout my life. My mother, Lisa Birkman, is going in to her third term as Precinct 1 Williamson County Commissioner and the example she sets for me daily has made a permanent impact on my life.

My mother is not what people call a 'career politician.' For 13 years she taught pre-school in low income areas of Austin, and when my sister and I were born she stayed home to take care of us. However, when I was four my mother felt the need to better our community and as a result s ran for her first public office and became a member of our local MUD board. At the end of her four year term, the County Commissioner that represented our neighborhood resigned from office and my mother saw this as an opportunity to further her public service to our area. During her campaign, she was berated by her opponents and several office holders in our area for being a woman and told that she was unable to serve as County Commissioner because of the fact that she was a mother. Despite the prejudice she faced, she remained strong, graceful, and determined for the duration of the campaign, and overcame the odds to become the first female County Commissioner in Williamson County history.

The hardships she faced did not end when she was elected. Many times she has been criticized for the stances she has taken on important issues. Despite the constant public scrutiny she has never taken 'the easy way out' by going the way of the majority. Despite the vicious comments that have been made about her she has never lost her grace. Despite the hardships she has faced she has made an impact on our community and continues to improve it each day.

My mother is the strongest women I know. Her achievements have inspired a drive in me to become the most successful woman I am able to be. She has shown me that I am not defined by other people's words, but by what is inside me. There is an old Chinese proverb that my mother always recites to me when I am in the face of adversity. It says, "The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials." The validity of this proverb is seen in her own life and the most important lesson she has taught me is the necessity to never give up or accept failure, but instead stand true for what you believe in and live up to your fullest potential. Without my mom, I would not have become half of the person I am today, and I am proud to be her daughter.

Any thoughts or suggestions???
vxu13 - / 2  
Nov 28, 2012   #2
i believe you are not supposed to type out numbers... ex - '4' instead of 'four'

also be careful not to make your mother the main focus of this essay, because it is supposed to be an evaluation on how she has impacted you and changed your life. other than that your essay looks good!
DonnaJm 1 / 6 1  
Nov 28, 2012   #3
Great essay. I agree with the other post that you may want to put more emphasis on how your mother's life has impacted yours.

One spelling error "My mother is the strongest women woman I know.

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