"how caring people have influenced me" college essay

What are the characteristics of caring people? Describe a time when you have experienced caring people. What made them stand out? How did they influence you?

A caring person is someone who is willing to take time out of their life on a daily basis in order to help others improve their own. They are not only considerate of other people's feelings, but they also share in other's ups and downs. The characteristics of a caring person include, but are not limited to kind, compassionate, respectful, trustworthy, and generous. Yet, these characteristics do not fully define the true meaning of a caring person. A caring person should not only be recognized by their characteristics, but also by their actions. The idea that caring is more than just empty emotion is proved to be true through the actions of my mom and dad. They have proved the ultimate act of caring by their decision to send me to the high school that they did. My school has prepared me fully for the future and in furthering my education in college. They have recognized that by sending me to a school that asks of so much and places ample responsibility on the students, it has pushed me to always strive for my highest potential, not only as a student but also in my values as a person. My parents have shown that they care for me each and every day by working very hard to pay for my tuition and by taking time to teach me important life lessons that only come with experience. My parents have stressed the importance of being a good person and what that entails, which therefore has pushed me to live up to their expectations. My mom and dad are the main role models in my life and influence me as a whole. Their strong influence as caring people has made me want to help others just as much as they do. I strive each day to become more and more like them, and to continue passing on the characteristics of a caring person.

They told you to DESCRIBE a time when you have experienced caring people, what you did was just a long definition of what is a caring person and a general idea of what they did for you. How about a specific time when you were ill, how worried were your parents, DESCRIBE their reactions and the emotions that were involved.

College can always pull out a dictionary to define what is a caring person, what they want to know is you . What is YOUR OWN thoughts about the people that influenced your life and how?

Use some stronger vocabulary would definitely help since its a college essay.

My suggestion, pick a "real" person that you think is caring, and describe him/her throughout (best is in story format, but you can be creative here) whether its your mom, dad, teacher, grand-parents, or friends. Be a little bit more personal.

If you do something like this, it is probably better to make them all nouns:
The characteristics of a caring person include, but are not limited to kindness, compassion, respect, trustworthiness, and generosity.

But Tan Vi is right! You are supposed to describe a time when you experienced something. I see that the experience you are writing about is being sent to a particular high school, so start by talking about that, not by listing the characteristics, etc.

And also, can you describe one specific situation... a particular time when you had a memorable experience of their caring nature?

:-)

I think you missed the focus... What's important is a specific time and how it had influenced you. If you define certain characteristics, you should show them through your description of the experience, not just listing those words. So go into details. Good luck!

you should write about an experience you've had with caring people, tell a story and keep it descriptive.

I think that you should write about an experienced you have had with a caring person and go in to detail what made that person caring.