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Caring for my sick father / Wanted-Life-Long Career in Nursing


carlbunch5 1 / -  
Jan 26, 2013   #1
I am preparing an essay for acceptance into a nursing program. My biggest regret was not going to nursing school. After 20 years am pursueing my dream. I have never written a entrance essay. I was hoping for some feedback.

My goal is to prepare for a life-long career in nursing where I can help people, ensuring they get the help and care they need. I have chosen DeSales University because of the excellent academic reputation as well as the convenience of education in between my family and work schedule.

One of my biggest regrets in life is that I did not go to nursing school. I had the urge to pursue nursing after I graduated high school and college and was working full time. Money to pursue a new career seemed inappropriate. It is now over 20 years later that the very fact that helping and caring for people is one of my most favorite things to do and that I am good at, that I have a longing to return to school to become a nurse. I also had a little inspiration from a friend to pursue that goal too. I have enjoyed many years home with my children and now it is time to move on and take care of more people than my own. My children will soon be grown and out of the house. When this happens I don't want to be at home wondering who I am and what do I want to do with my life. I want to be somebody and I want to make a difference in people's lives.

A few years ago, I had the unique opportunity to care for my sick father. My dad was diagnosed with Leukemia. He fought hard but lost the battle. I feel I had a unique opportunity, as well as he. It was my mother, sister and I who were able to care for him. Throughout his illness, I had such pride in caring for my dad and my mother as well, as she was dealing with losing her husband. It certainly was a time where emotions had to be balanced at times, which was hard. My mother, sister and I, worked as a team, taking turns caring for my father. Our goal was to keep him as comfortable as possible, in the comfort of his own home. Home, with family, the best place to be. That is what he deserved.

I am looking forward to the many ways that I can work with people and care for them. I am unsure which direction I wish to take as I get into nursing, I think I will love it all. I am leaning towards a career in hospice care or home care. Home is where the heart is. I know many people and family want to be at home and feel most comfortable at home. I want to be able to make that happen and help people be where they want to be. Having chances to make a positive impact on individuals' lives on an everyday basis is one of the great aspects of being a nurse.

Being a caring and compassionate person has proven rewarding in my life thus far in many ways and places. I look forward to being able to care for people that are hurt and even dying. I am not afraid. I want to help. I know a career in nursing will prove to be rewarding and stable and it will leave much room for personal growth and development as well as opportunity for advancement. I would love to have DeSales University School of Nursing help me achieve my life-long career goal.
Aliyev 3 / 7 2  
Jan 27, 2013   #2
Marvelous essay,however there are some mistakes.
"...after I was graduated from high school..."
" He fought hard, but lost the battle."
" I think I will love itthem all."

I loved your style=) keep training!
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Jan 27, 2013   #3
I had the urge to pursue nursing after I graduated high school and college and was working full time.

The part I highlighted disturbs your flow :( ... I guess you worked full time after college .... This is my suggestion;
I was very keen on pursuing nursing degree after my high school graduation. However, I needed to work full time .....( tell some valid reason why you worked full time and did not pursue your nursing dream )

I also had a little inspiration from a friend to pursue that goal too.

... don't say little inspiration; it makes the reader feel like that your friend didn't inspire you properly;
I was also inspired by my friend to pursue this goal.
Also you bring in this friend suddenly to the scene.... what's the significance of this friend? a very close one? .... I feel you need to be a little more descriptive :)


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