Hi guys! I am applying to Carnegie Mellon for their computer science program. This is the most selective department and Carnegie, so I would appreciate any feedback I can get. I will also take a look at your essays if you need me to. Thanks a bunch!
Please submit a one-page, single-spaced essay that explains why you have chosen Carnegie Mellon and your particular major(s), department(s) or program(s). This essay should include the reasons why you've chosen the major(s), any goals or relevant work plans and any other information you would like us to know. If you are applying to more than one college or program, please mention each college or program you are applying to. Because our admission committees review applicants by college and programs, your essay can impact our final decision. Please do not exceed one page for this essay.
On February of 2004, Mark Zuckerberg created Facebook. Over half of Harvard's undergraduate population registered within its first month. Eight years later, nearly half of the United States' population is exchanging pokes and updating statuses. What contributed to the rise of Facebook? Innovation.
A product of the digital age, I spend approximately 15% of my day perusing Facebook. It is my address book, news source, and PDA. With Facebook, I can catch up with old friends, meet new friends, and possibly find a girlfriend thanks to the "Chat" feature. The "Groups" feature allows me to exchange homework help in my "AP Chemistry 2011-2012" group and organize a quick match of capture-the-flag in my "CoD pwnage (ps3 only sorry)" group. I planned a successful birthday party over the summer using the Facebook "Events" feature. Thanks to the "Calendar" feature, people actually remembered my birthday and showed up. These "features" of Facebook are the brainchildren of innovative, creative, and problem solving thinkers. About 50 of these thinkers are Carnegie Mellon alumni. "Carnegie Mellon is the ultimate, innovative, problem solving university. We thrive on that. The harder the problem, the more important the problem, the better Carnegie Mellon responds." With these words, university president Jared Cohon captures the essence of Carnegie Mellon.
My first day of AP computer science was hallmarked by two words written on the white board: elegant solution. These two words baffled me. Directly under these words were a grid and marker. I could not believe it. My teacher was challenging the class to a game of tic-tac-toe. Fifteen minutes and an unforeseen number of consecutive losses later, we were diving into the mechanisms of iterations and algorithms. What used to be a child's game became my initiation into a new way of thinking. One month later, I was programming my own ATM and vending machine. I began to understand those two words as time passed. Computer science is not about programming in Java; It is the thought process behind the programming. During our bout against our teacher in tic-tac-toe, my class lost for a reason. We went against the elegant solution. While we made moves at random, our teacher had but three basic steps to guide him: Choose the cell that allows the most winning combinations, check for forced moves, and repeat. The elegant solution about is getting the optimal outcome with the smallest effort possible. Computer scientists are not programmers; they strive to find the elegant solution to problems. Computer scientists are innovators. They are the architects of change.
On November of 2011, Mark Zuckerberg went on a college tour. He visited MIT, Harvard, and Carnegie Mellon. When asked about the type of people Facebook looks for, Zuckerberg replied "Facebook looks for really entrepreneurial folks, people who are trying to have a big impact on the world and who have the ability to look at any of a hundred different problems at once and say 'this is the one we really need to solve.'" These are the kind of people that Carnegie Mellon produces. Innovators, problem solvers, architects of change. Carnegie Mellon can bestow the gift of innovation to me, and computer science can teach me how to look for the elegant solution. This marriage of innovation and the elegant solution produced those 50 Carnegie Mellon alumni at Facebook. It is what helped develop Facebook. And it can help change the world. I want to be an architect of change.
