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How Were You Caught? 'being caught into the politics'


edgardz21 5 / 11  
Dec 20, 2009   #1
Essay Option 1.How did you get caught? (Or not caught, as the case may be.)
Inspired by Kelly Kennedy, a fourth-year in the College.


I'm hoping that my essay will REALLY give me an advantage over other applicants.
May someone please tell revise my essay and let me know if it will stand out?

Any comments or advice will be appreciated :)

After the wave of patriotism swept the country following September eleventh, my family started watching the news more often and I would always watch late night news with them. While watching the news many questions emerged in my head regarding the mysterious globe we live in, such as "Why are we at war", and "why are people dying". As time progressed, my curiosity grew at an immeasurable rate. A whole new world had been introduced to me. The world of the perceived post 9/11 terror threat had a big psychological effect on my young mind. The fear of being victim of an attack constantly followed me. I would refuse to get on an airplane, I was wary of going inside a sky scraper and at one point I even had the fear of going on public transportation. The fears grew and the media intensified them. However, I soon learned to analyze certain issues rather than be drawn by fear and I began applying this to my everyday life. As months past, I actively watched the news and kept up with current events. At times I became frustrated and scared with world problems often blaming others for these problems. By actively watching the news at age eleven, I gained an understanding how politics work. Although I would often be confused by the complexity of the issues, I attempted to formulate solutions to current events, read political articles and listen to political speeches. My interest in politics soon began to shape me. I began keeping up with politics as if it were a sporting event. Since it is not the most popular topic, I had a difficult time having a good conversation with my classmates. After all, the only thing interesting to me was politics. I realized that I like something different than most people in my community. My life had forever been changed. At that moment I realized, I had been caught into the world of politics.

By being caught into the politics, I have therefore grown to understand how politics can influence the people as well as the world. I recognize that our world is bitterly divided on ideologies and that there will always be view points contrary to my own. I now love to analyze the situations arising from diplomatic disagreements and how each global leader try to play and turn each situation to his country's advantage, while making the most of the political career. The political mindset that has contributed to my personal growth has encouraged me to do more than sit in front of my television screen watching the news. I live in a country that allows anyone to become involved in politics. And I look forward to taking advantage of that. This political mindset continues to follow me; it is a feature that I seek to hold for the rest of my life. The issues that worried me and had me constantly watching the news are issues that I will one day solve.
shannon92 15 / 74  
Dec 20, 2009   #2
Very risque idea/ not really what theyre asking but it's unique definitely. "caught into the politics" doesnt make sense btw
OP edgardz21 5 / 11  
Dec 20, 2009   #3
caught into the political world ?
sounds better?
shannon92 15 / 74  
Dec 21, 2009   #4
it still doesn't really sound right or make grammatical sense... caught into politics sounds the least awkward

you cant be "caught into" a world... you can be "caught in" though

can you help with my essay possibly? thanks
snorlaxative 4 / 17  
Dec 21, 2009   #5
"Caught in the world of" would perhaps suit you better
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 22, 2009   #6
That first paragraph is quite impressive. I see some unnecessary stuff to be trimmed from paragraph 2, though:
By being caught into the politics, I have therefore grown to understand how politics can influence the people as well as the world. I recognize that our world is bitterly divided... ------> I think it'll be much better without that first sentence.

You know, I think you could explain this process (of getting caught up in politics) in a single paragraph instead of two. You can condense tis to 1 paragraph, and then write another paragraph all about how you are currently participating. It is not so impressive just to be interested. Be someone who is taking action, someone who cares and is willing to work hard.


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