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Cause and effect - 'one day can change your whole outlook on life'

Downsdld 1 / 2  
Apr 8, 2007   #1
I was a happy home maker who didn't want anything else in life, until I was so close to losing it all. My family was at the local county fair. We had just walked onto the grounds area" at the fairgrounds, this area is set with a variety of different venders. I saw this "Health Connections" bus set up. In fun, I said to my husband "let's get your blood pressure checked". He laughed and replied, "If they check my blood pressure they will send me off to the hospital." We both hysterically laughed at his comment. We just had no idea that we would not be laughing in a few short minutes. His joking comment was soon going to be a surprising reality.

After walking into the health connections bus we quickly were seated. A nurse took my blood pressure, while another nurse took my husbands blood pressure. Both of the nurses took our blood pressure manually. My husband was sitting across from me, so I could see the look of confusion on his nurse's face as she finished up with him. She decided to give it another try, and this try didn't work out very well either. My nurse was finished with me, and my blood pressure was perfect. However, my husbands nurse came over to both me and my nurse and whispered that she had never seen blood pressure so high on someone conscious before. My heart quickly plummeted to the pit of stomach. My first thought was "he was right we are going to the hospital".

My nurse quickly came to the aid of my husband, and tried her best to get a normal reading. Ironically, her readings were even higher than the prior nurse. The nurse consulted my husband and me, and said that the next plan of action was to call an ambulance. My husband was scared and was very adamant that he did not want to go to the hospital. He said that he'd just wait until Monday and go to see his family doctor. The nurse at the Health connections site acted as if I was an accomplist to his crime of not going to the hospital and vocally scolded me for not making him get into the ambulance. My husband is a very big, strong, muscular guy, and strong willed at best. I did try to talk him into going, but he said that the reason for the increase of his blood pressure was due to stress at this point. Finally, the nurses let my husband go. The only way they allowed him to go was if he signed a statement that said that he was going to the hospital on his own by the end of the day. My husband happily signed the statement with no intent of actually going to the hospital. Maybe what I did was a little sneaky, but I called his doctors office, while he was in signed the "go to the hospital statement". I quickly told the receptionist that I need the Doctor right away. To my surprise the doctor quickly came to assist me on the phone. I told the doctor that we were at the fair grounds and all about our dilemma. I told the doctor that my husband's blood pressure reading was 212/109. I asked if he could wait until Monday to see her, as he was planning. His doctor quickly replied, "Sure, if you or he thinks that he will live through the weekend and actually live to see Monday!" I will admit that I was a little worried, but didn't really take the nurses as seriously as maybe I should have. However, the doctor literally scared me to death. I quickly called my parents and had them meet me at the fair grounds so that I didn't totally ruin the boys day at the fair.

I drove my husband to the hospital. Once the nurse there took his blood pressure, which seemed to rise even higher at this point, we were quickly moved to a room in the emergency room. She then got the doctor to come in and talk with us. The doctor told us that it was amazing that my husband had not had a stroke. My husband was also extremely lucky that he was not either dead or in a comatose state. The doctors worked on my husband for a few hours and got his blood pressure down. He is now on daily medications to keep his blood pressure down. He was also told to never stop taking the medicine or he'd probably have a massive stroke with in weeks of ending his medication. He was released from the hospital the next day with a new outlook on life.

My husband is self employed. Financially, we depend on him 100% to survive. If things had of turned out a little differently at the hospital then he could have had to remain in the hospital for days or even weeks. My husband is a great provider. I could see the worry that came over him while at the hospital. He was worried that he'd lose a week or possibly even more of salary. We depend on him for everything and I'm sure that makes the stress level for him even higher on a good day, not to mention the bad days.

I vowed from that day forward that I would get a degree in something that interest me. I would work toward the degree and find something part time until I finish school. My dream is to be a teacher whether in a Montessori school or public school. I am pursing my dream job and also working at my son's school. My husband never asked me to do this. I came up with this idea on my own. However, my husband seems much less stressed out. He can't wait until I'm a teacher.

It is amazing how one day can change your whole outlook on life. Prior to that day at the fair, I only wanted to take care of my kids and stay at home. After that day, I wanted to take care of my kids, but also be a better provider for them. If the unthinkable ever happens, I'll be more prepared financially. The possibility of losing my husband helped make me a stronger person and a person that wants to help him relieve stress and know that I want to work with him. I don't want to have him work alone for our family, but work as a partnership.
OP Downsdld 1 / 2  
Apr 8, 2007   #2
This is my first essay. I am a little rusty since I have not been in school for 17 years. MY essay was to be 800 words, which I am over. I think I will be OK being over the word amount. I just worried that this isnt what my teacher is looking for. Any help would be GREAT!

EF_Team2 1 / 1,708  
Apr 9, 2007   #3

Goodness, you had a scary time! I'm glad your husband is all right. :-)) It's a good essay and I think you did a good job of demonstrating how your husband's blood pressure scare was the cause of your wanting to go back to school: cause and effect.

I think you could easily pare it down to 800 words by taking out some of the repetition. One thing to remember when writing an essay about a true event is that it is more important to make it flow well than to provide every little detail that actually happened. For example:

"We had just walked onto the grounds area" at the fairgrounds, this area is set with a variety of different venders." - this information is not really relevant to the story you are telling.

"Both of the nurses took our blood pressure manually." - This is repetitive of the previous sentence and not necessary.

"Sure, if you or he thinks that he will live through the weekend and actually live to see Monday!" - This may be ver batim what the doctor said, but it sounds rather stilted. Better might be something simpler, like "Sure, if you think he'll live to see Monday!"

Be sure to check your spelling: "venders" should be "vendors"; "accomplist" should be "accomplice."

Try reading your essay out loud to someone (your husband? :-)) and check for places where it sounds a little awkward or could be smoother. I think you're off to a great start!


Sarah, EssayForum.com
mharvey27 - / 1  
Apr 10, 2007   #4
hi i have been trying to write a cause and effect essay and i am having trouble getting it started. i think that i would like to write on a topic about the cause and effect of having car insurance. how can i get this going
EF_Team2 1 / 1,708  
Apr 10, 2007   #5

That sounds like a great topic! In thinking about it, I wonder whether it might be easier to talk about it in terms of not having car insurance? For instance, I know that in my state, a lot of people choose not to buy uninsured motorist insurance. The effect of this can be that, if they get into an accident caused by someone without liability insurance, they end up with massive medical bills, too injured to work, and no money to cover their damages. In that case the cause of their problems can be traced back to that decision to waive uninsured motorist coverage.

You might start with something like, "Most people pay little attention to what types of auto insurance they may need. Instead, they buy the least coverage they can legally get away with. The result of this may be financially catastrophic for them in the event of an auto accident."

I hope this gives you some ideas!


Sarah, EssayForum.com
OP Downsdld 1 / 2  
Apr 11, 2007   #6
Thank you so much for your help!

Thanks Again,

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