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Certainty is what matters. stanford essay.


KhanhZ 5 / 131 7  
Sep 4, 2012   #1
Hi, everyone)
This is another essay for Stanford. What matters to you, and why? max 2000 characters

Before I wrote this, I had been drafting an essay about having a choice as something that really matters to me. Well, it still does. And my essay was about my parents not allowing me to study psychology and becoming a clinical psychologist, because of their rusty disregard and misconceptions of that job, and how I had to argue for weeks to no avail. However, I scratched that out. Let me narrate the story in another light.

Once upon a time, I told my mom about my interest in psychology and my desire to bind it with my life -- her answer was affirmative ,though not overly enthusiastic. As time passed, my dad and grandmother decided to intervene with their diminutive notions of psychology, consequentially making my mom change her mind and forcing me to make another choice: I took advertising for pre-law and fixed on law career. Time flowed still, and while I conducted my tiresome research into good advertisement colleges, my parents condescended to say that psychology would actually be a better pre-law. Full of indignation, I suffered, helpless, for my life was trifled with , for my parents paid for my education, thus rendering me wholly dependent on them.

But guess what, about a week before I started this essay, my mom suddenly told me I could resume my old pursuits. You might think I have been happy, overflowing with joy and thanking heavens for mercy. The reality was different though -- I was utterly perplexed. Guess why, it was a diviner who told her that according to stars or whatever he used for divination, it is very suitable for me, who was born in the year of mouse with affiliation to water, to work as a psychologist.

Now you wonder what is this all about. It is about certainty. Certainty is what matters to me on par with having choice. Life taught me uncertainty is a hope that constantly leaves and returns, a wound that is stabbed and bandaged over and over and thus should be never wished to anyone.
Jennyflower81 - / 690 96  
Sep 4, 2012   #2
Hi, I have some suggestions for things you may want to change, your essay is great, so there are just some ideas in case you want to change something :)

But guess what...
I think that at some points in your essay you have phrases that don't quite sound professional, that they sound like you are just chatting with someone. Keep in mind always that admissions is reading this and you are writing with your best grammar possible. Be sure to show them how you have great talent in writing :)
amitt - / 80  
Sep 4, 2012   #3
Jennyflower81 : Please, help all needy people like us.We really want to improve
Regards
OP KhanhZ 5 / 131 7  
Sep 5, 2012   #4
Thanks a lot, Jenny, for your suggestions.
The first para is actually my beginning of essay, yeah it might be odd , but I wanted to start in some unconventional way.
my parents forced me to study something else, they gave me an ultimatum: if I didn't choose something else, they would not pay a dime for my education.

Need more feedback guys, plz.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Sep 5, 2012   #5
misconceptions ofabout that job

The first para is actually my beginning of essay, yeah it might be odd , but I wanted to start in some unconventional way.

:D ... This is you KhanhZ and always... I remember commenting on your earlier essay and that too represented your unorthodox writing style. Sometimes you sound a bit too arrogant, but I like it. :)

Let me narrate the story in anothera different light.

But guess what...
I think that at some points in your essay you have phrases that don't quite sound professional, that they sound like you are just chatting with someone. Keep in mind always that admissions is reading this and you are writing with your best grammar possible. Be sure to show them how you have great talent in writing :)

Here, I think you should pay attention to what Jennifer says. I'm also not in favor for what she has highlighted :)

Great writing anyway :)
OP KhanhZ 5 / 131 7  
Sep 5, 2012   #6
Thanks, Dumi, for your assistance:)
Macrusa 5 / 16  
Sep 5, 2012   #7
I don't like the Once upon a time but the quote is certainly beautiful. It really shows your character and what you truly believe in. Great job.

"Now you wonder what is this all about. It is about certainty. Certainty is what matters to me on par with having choice. Life taught me uncertainty is a hope that constantly leaves and returns, a wound that is stabbed and bandaged over and over and thus should be never wished to anyone."


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